A TRACH and FEEDING TUBE

Wanted to get up early for the hospital. Lol. Couldnt drag my butt outta bed. Off to the hospital for hopefully some good news. Then i have to head home. Lots to do there im sure. 

Facebook on December 13, 2010 at 10:29am

Dannys getting his trach right now, maybe his feeding tube too. This waiting is unnerving as hell. 

Facebook on December 13, 2010 at 12:55pm

Getting the trach I could accept, although it still made me cringe to think it was really happening. My reaction to the feeding tube was one of confusion about its moral correctness and what it meant for the long term. In my twelve years as a nurse in the convalescent home setting, I was aware of the fact that once a tube is placed for feeding, it often can not be removed in order to let life end. My fear was that if Danny remained in a persisstant vegetative state and never woke up, he would now be doomed until the end of his natural life with being "kept" alive. Danny would never EVER want this. He held such strong beliefs about it. But by the same token, he needed nutrition desperately, and it was either that or a non-permanent naso-gastric feeding tube. Had the choice been mine AT THE TIME, I would have opted for the naso-gastric tube for awhile until there were more signs of him waking. Apparently his mom gave the permission. Luckily it was the correct choice...

9pm. Headin home to Tamaqua shortly after a week here. Barb is the best friend: pseudo-mom/sister anyone could ever have. So much to do in the next 2 days. Im heading over to notes to write an update so come read....

Facebook on December 13, 2010 at 9:01pm

by Kathleen Quinn-Farber on Monday, December 13, 2010 at 9:29pm

   Today Danny got his trach and his feeding tube in his tummy. They also put the cerebral pressure monitor back into his head once again, just to watch things more closely. The fever was mostly staying down but the cold packs are back on cuz he spiked a 104.0 toward morning. His chest xrays show dramatic improvement and the MRSA and pnemonia is getting better. He is scoring an 8 tonight on the glasko coma scale, which is a scale of 3 to 15, but the eyes still being closed concerns the doctors a bit. The surgeons and drs I spoke with today sound optimistic. Dr Hoy said to "get ready" cuz in 2 weeks he will prolly be out of ICU and very agitated, and will need me. So I was told to REST UP! I'm tired and cant think and have a long drive home yet tonight, plus im sure laundry and dishes and who knows what else. So im signing off for now. Thank you all for your prayers...

Its 2am. I cant go into our bedroom. I feel so far away. I have so much to do tomorrow but just feel so lost.

Facebook on December 14, 2010 at 1:58am 

A funny little side-note....

I mentioned Dr. Hoy in my Facebook update. When they were doing things with Danny to prepare for the insertion of the trach and feed tube, I went down to lunch. I sat down cati-corner from a Dr, and he was talking on the phone to a colleague. I heard him say "Yea, I've got a trach in ICU in a bit."  After the procedure when we spoke I told him I was at the table and overheard him, cuz it just seemed so ironic in that large hospital to end up sitting there and hearing that.

Dr. Hoy was one of the few doctors that spoke of recovery with great confidence, instead of trying not to get my hopes up. He explained some brain injury behaviors and stages to me, and warned me of Danny's coming "wild awakening"...lol, and he was right on the money! 

DIFFUSE AXONAL INJURY

Feeling real down n depressed. Sometimes reading too much info is a mistake. Was readin abt dannys specific type of brain injury, diffuse axonal injury, and the info was discouraging. :-(

Facebook on December 12, 2010 at 8:47pm 

Diffuse axonal injury is the shearing/tearing/stretching of the brain's long connecting nerve fibers (axons) which occurs when the brain is injured as it shifts and rotates inside the bony skull. ICP monitoring generally is not useful as they usually have normal ICPs.

Prolonged recovery is the norm - if they recover. This injury has a poor prognosis. If they do recover, there will almost certainly be deficits - personality changes, motor difficulties (poor coordination, paralysis, spasicity, etc), changes in senses, sided neglect, spacial discernment difficulties (limbs in relation to body), aphasia, dysphagia, impaired ADL ability... the list goes on and on. They will forever need day-to-day assistance/care.
Diffuse axonal injury (DAI) is one of the most common and devastating types of traumatic brain injury, meaning that damage occurs over a more widespread area than in focal brain injury. DAI, which refers to extensive lesions in white matter tracts, is one of the major causes of unconsciousness and persistent vegetative state after head trauma. It occurs in about half of all cases of severe head trauma and also occurs in moderate and mild brain injury.
The outcome is frequently coma, with over 90% of patients with severe DAI never regaining consciousness. Those who do wake up often remain significantly impaired. 

Unlike brain trauma that occurs due to direct impact and deformation of the brain, DAI is the result of traumatic shearing forces that occur when the head is rapidly accelerated or decelerated, as may occur in auto accidents, falls, and assaults. It usually results from rotational forces or severe deceleration. Vehicle accidents are the most frequent cause of DAI; it can also occur as the result of child abuse such as in shaken baby syndrome.
The major cause of damage in DAI is the disruption of axons, the neural processes that allow one neuron to communicate with another. Tracts of axons, which appear white due to myelination, are referred to as white matter. Acceleration causes shearing injury, which refers to damage inflicted as tissue slides over other tissue. When the brain is accelerated, parts of differing densities and distances from the axis of rotation slide over one another, stretching axons that traverse junctions between areas of different density, especially at junctions between white and grey matter.

 

Kathryn Marie Thorne We have a friend who's 17y/o daughter suffered a SERIOUS TBI a little over a year ago and is now doing miraculously well having defied all of the 'literature'. Please stay hopeful - there could be a miracle right around the corner!

December 12, 2010 at 9:00pm 

Kathleen Rega Oh,Kath,miracles happen every day and I certainly pray you get one..Keep thinking positive,I know it's hard to do but miracles do happen..Love you..

December 12, 2010 at 9:15pm 

Barbara Ann Mertz Leickel Praying you get a Christmas Miracle. Tis the season for Miracles and you are due one.

December 12, 2010 at 9:29pm

Deanne Peletsky Colna Don't get discouraged .... try to stay as positive as possible. I know the wait and see game is very tiresome, but keeping a positive attitude is one of the first things we can do to help Danny. I am trying to avoid reading any info until he is awake and there is more definitive information to research.

December 12, 2010 at 10:05pm

Amanda Mills Everything happened for a reason, just keep your head on straight! You have way too many people praying for you and your family, stay faithful! God works in his own ways, it may not be as fast as we would like them to be, but we are all here for you! Stay strong, you are an amazing person, with a heart of gold, so keep pushing through! ♥ you

December 12, 2010 at 11:00pm

Reading the above material both then and now as I write this blog compels me to believe in miracles...Danny is a true one!! 

ok, well I started the research so I had to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. I found lots of good info and also emailed Good Shepard for all info they can give for when the time comes, and it WILL come. Right now im jus havin a hard time, imagining Danny places, thinkin abt things he would say, and wishing time could be reversed and we were holding eaother tonight :-(

Facebook on December 13, 2010 at 1:25am

 

FAMILY TIES

Will be at the hospital by abt 11am. Praying maybe today will be the day he opens his eyes. Will update 

Facebook on December 12, 2010 at 10:19am

Sherry Peletsky

I know with all of the time you are spending at the hospital things will be hard this year, and I know Danny would want Nick to be happy, plus you guys are family now!! It means alot knowing I can call you anytime for updates or just to talk!
December 12, 2010 at 10:24am 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber You sure can! You can count on it. Maybe all of this will have a silver lining in that danny can build back the family relationships he let go of at one time.

December 12, 2010 at 1:10pm 

Judy Peletsky I keep telling my self that will happen I hope I am right .

December 12, 2010 at 7:51pm

As I explained before, Danny kinda drove away most of his family, like his mom and sisters, through behaviors of the past. He didn't see them much at all, but we did go visit occasionally. His other closest family... his aunt, uncle and two cousins Sherry and Deanne he basically just avoided in recent years due to his embarassment about his past drug use and the consequences of it. They never stopped loving him though, and his aunt and uncle were so happy a few months before, when I talked Danny into dropping in on them for a visit. I hoped to help him reestablish his broken family relationships. Well, unfortunately, the accident hurried things along, but if one good thing has come out of it all, it is that Danny has his family back, and they have him back too.

I met Sherry and Deanne for the first time in the ICU, and I liked them right away. And as we saw each other more and spent time every other night or so talking on the phone, I found myself growing very fond of them and them of me. It felt nice, especially since my family is just my mom and kids, to feel a part of something bigger. I always wanted a sister or brother, and I dont even have a cousin in my own state or that I've ever had any sort of relationship with.

Sherry gave me a bag that day with some nice T-shirts and a skateboard in it for Nick, to help me with Christmas. I was very touched. Sherry also met Nick, Chris and Tiffany, his girlfriend, that night, and everyone just seemed good together. I felt happy and lucky to have the people in Danny's extended family accept me, and accept us as a couple without question or judgment...

Sedation and pain med is off unless needed and lungs are getting better. Waiting now to see those eyes open. Its been 9 days.

Facebook on December 12, 2010 at 1:26pm

MRSA

11am...on my way to the hospital til around dinner time. My son and his gf may come spend the wknd at Barbs. Chris is amazing and has been so supportive and rooting for Danny. It just brings tears to my eyes...

Facebook on December 11, 2010 at 11:03am

Coma inducing med is off and they are slowly reducing the sedation. Still has pnemonia, mrsa infection, but they are suckin out those lungs and he looks like he may be comin around real slow. Hes still wrapped in cold packs for the fever to stay down.

Facebook on December 12, 2010 at 12:34am

Throughout Saturday Danny stabilized some. His fever came down, then went up, and kept cycling that way. There were cold packs in bed with him since Friday...around his chest, under his arms, at his thighs. I kept thinking how he disliked being cold. The antibiotics seemed to be working though and they turned off the coma-inducing medication, while also slowly reducing his sedation. It was best to rid of these things as quickly as possible I was told because the longer he was forced to remain comatose the lesser were his chances of coming out of it at all.

The infection he had was MRSA, which is Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, and is a pretty serious issue. It is a common problem in hospitals where there are people with open wounds and invasive devices. Vancomycin is the antibiotic of choice to treat it, and Danny was now on that, along with others. He was being suctioned out very frequently, and the coughing spells it caused were intense. Everyone now had to wear gowns when in the room and follow very scrupulous hand-washing technique...which by the way, should have been followed by everyone since the beginning. Its uncomfortable when you are in the medical profession yourself but now on the other side of the fence and things staff and visitors do or do not do correctly become very noticeable. 

 

OUR STORY...

Danny and I...

by Kathleen Quinn-Farber   Facebook on Friday, December 10, 2010 at 3:30pm

There is so much on my mind that its hard to think. I have so many feelings brewing inside me...sadness, anger, resentment, hope, and mostly so much love.

 Theres quite a story behind Danny and I, one that Danielle Steele or some other writer could turn into a marvelous novel. Most of my friends know part or all of it, because of my openness with my blogs and personal life. Ive been accused of revealing the unnecessary, but blogging helps me and it helps others I believe, and I feel no shame.

 Danny came into my life almost 2 years ago. Actually Ive known him since he was a kid...lol...he says he had a  crush on me since he was 12...haha...I just think thats funny and ironic..maybe even kinda weird. But anyway, I separated from my husband 2 years before, an 18 yr relationship often filled with alcohol and abuse. Looking back I was a care-taker, a scapegoat, someone to hold his life together because he couldnt do it himself.  But thats the past. I got the strength to end it. Well, over the course of a few months, feeling like a trapped animal let out of a cage, I went a bit haywire. I was going out, getting myself in little jams etc. Danny and I communicated on Myspace alot. I was depressed, looking for love in all the wrong places (and faces), at the point of losing my house due to my financial woes, perhaps heading toward ruining the best job I ever had, and my life was pretty much on a path of self-destruction. At the same time, so was Dannys. A guy who wouldnt take an aspirin all his life, became a drug user for a short period of time, especially while in Germany in the service, and pushed away his family and friends as he used and abused everyones attempts to help him. Although he told me he resented what he saw as them not caring, I understood that they had to close the door on him, just as I had to with my husband. Danny's also had a mixed bag of issues, bi-polar, severe OCD, ADHD, depression and anxiety. I took him in as a friend and roommate, for some financial help, some companionship and company...crazy pretty-boy Danny, a ladies man...lol. A dimestore psychiatrist, with the answers to every womans problems, the country's problems, the world's too. But he dropped the life he had, be what it was, and came to stay with me. We continued to form a stronger friendship, then eventually an open relationship for a few months, growing closer and closer. He eventually told me he cared too much about me to continue to look for anyone else and that he never used the word love all his life, but that he was starting to understand what it felt like. I fell months before he did, but kept it to myself. In the first 8 months together some of his bi-polar and unreasonableness got on my last nerve. He had problems I couldnt deal with and I threw him out into the cold. He went to stay with an aunt and uncle. For one month I cried and cried. The nights were the worst, missing him, staying up all night because I couldnt sleep and IMing my sons girlfriend. A couple weeks before I made him leave we also found out that we were pregnant. I didnt know what to do. I was scared to death. I ended up miscarrying 10 weeks into it. Please forgive me for never telling his family this part. It was very personal and hard and only 2 of my friends, my kids and Danny knew. He was happy on one hand, but our relationship wasn't stable at that time, and we were both afraid that at my age it would be risky. I guess God took care of it the way he saw fit.  I took Danny back after learning that he took steps to get help for his problems as soon as I put him out. And he has followed through all this time...psychiatrist, therapists, meds. He has come such a long long way. And we grew closer and closer. He took my youngest, Nick, who had basically become naughty, angry, rude, and withdrawn, and he spent every day taking Nick out with the dog, playing ball with him, bike riding etc...more daily love and attention then he ever was used to. Danny began saying Nick is now like his son(which was a bit unsettling) and that he would stand by him and me forever. He wanted to see Nick walk through the doors of a college someday. In the meantime I had many issues too. Depression, feelings of suicide, post traumatic stress from my marital abuse as well as 4 yrs of sexual abuse as a preteen. He was able to draw those things out of me, holding me for hours when i would cry. At this point I want to say that the remark was made by more than one person that Danny wanted me for someone to take care of him and give him attention. There is a grain of truth in that. His life was a shambles and he had no one. But really thats so opposite of the truth. He is a good man, and he prompted me to also get into treatment for my issues. He has taken care of ME most of all, seeing that I slept and ate, and sometimes being harsh or cruel in his statements about my past and present ways of doing things (brutal honesty hurts and angers, but for me was needed.)  My depression lifted and im feeling positive again. During the past few months he has tried to get me to get my divorce done, and has said over and over again that he maybe even wants us to be married. I wasnt sure I wanted to do that ever again, but oh how I wish we had done it. Now he lies in the hospital and I feel like basically an outcast...a nobody. I have no rights, even though over the past 2 yrs I know everything about him, more than anyone else on earth...his hopes, fears, dreams, what he would want. Now I look at him lying there and my heart feels like a big swollen piece of sore meat. Nick needs him, and my son Chris...lol imagine, even wants him home as well. We have a life together now, dreams of getting a house of our own and raising Nick up as a positive person. I put up with his quirky crap, and he puts up with mine, but at night we always know we have one another. My wish is never to offend his family, but I dont feel anyone understands how we feel about one another. He needed me and I needed him, and we were brought together by those needs. I love him from the bottom of my heart...at 47, love I never felt in my life.

 To update everyone, they have put him back into a coma cuz of pnemonia. His brain injury is the same but not worse. I will stand by him no matter what, and I will bring him back to his home, where he wanted to be, with Nick and I. I will push him in a wheelchair, wipe his butt, do anything I need to. He saved my life and I saved his. I will never abandon him and he knows that. Thanks for everyones prayers, for his mom who I know is hurting, and his sisters, and his aunt and uncle and cousins. We have to keep our chins up and believe hes coming back to us.....

Jeannine Ann Carroll I hope all works out for you Kathy,Your a good person and deserve Happiness. I will continue praying for you and Danny and hope all works out for you. All your life you have done for everyone else, I really hope some good comes to you.

December 10, 2010 at 7:22pm 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber Thanx jeannine. I dont look at things Ive done for others as a right to expect it back. I just dont want to lose something that took me all my life to find. And nick doesnt deserve to lose danny either now that he actually has  someone who teaches him, plays, does homework, is patient with, and cares about him. Thanx for your prayers and caring.

December 10, 2010 at 8:21pm 

Kathleen Rega Oh Kathy,if anyone deserves happiness ,it's you..you're in my thoughts and prayers daily..with lots of love...

December 10, 2010 at 9:34pm ·

The drs n nurses here are giving wonderful care and are so kind n compassionate. They allow me to sit here, even sleep next to the bed. To snooze holding his hand and with my head on his arm feels so good. I know he would want me 2 recieve that comfort n i know he can feel mine.

Facebook on December 10, 2010 at 10:28pm 

Sherry Peletsky See you tomorrow! Take care of yourself!

December 10, 2010 at 10:44pm 

Robin Kinsey Keppley Just catching up on ur posts, sorry to hear things aren't progressing faster but good things take time. Glad u have a good support system w the docs and nurses! Will keep praying:) I know it's hard for u all.

December 10, 2010 at 10:49pm 

·

Left hospital 1am. Dannys vs are good, temp stayin down, and the vent is doing all the work of breathing and he looks comfortable which makes me feel good. Will be back in the morning. Goodnight. I love you danny.

Facebook on December 11, 2010 at 1:03am 

Judy Peletsky Thank you so much .For keeping me informed when I am not there you will never know how much that means to all of us .
love and prayers to you both .

December 11, 2010 at 7:25am 

Glenroy Wolfsen I am glad things are stablizing now. Thanks for letting us know. I pray that he improves now every day.

December 11, 2010 at 7:55am 

John V. Peletsky Thank you for keeping us all updated, it is greatly appreciated. Danny is very lucky to have you

December 11, 2010 at 8:37am 

James Balogach Get some rest kid.

December 11, 2010 at 9:43am 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber thanx James. Thats exactly what I expected you'd have to say.lol. I am resting AND eating, so dont worry. love ya

December 11, 2010 at 10:38am

>>TWO STEPS FORWARD < ONE STEP BACK

Yesterday was good. Not today. Staph infection, left lung full of junk, breathing labored. Doing a procedure on him now to see or clean out lungs. Sedation back on. I dont know what to do but pray.

Facebook on December 9, 2010 at 12:31pm

Bouncing pretty happily into Danny's room just before lunchtime Thursday, I was alarmed as soon as I neared the bed. Danny's chest was moving up and down in a laborious fashion, and I could hear wheezing and crackling sounds. That little indentation between the collar bones was sucking in a lot when he inhaled. When I touched him he felt very hot. His hands were still open, palm down, not clenched. He looked pale and felt clammy. Then a nurse came in and told me I would have to step out in a moment because they were going to do some sort of procedure to look down into his left lung and maybe suction stuff out. She told me he had a staph infection in the secretions from the left and likely was developing pneumonia. The sedation was being turned back on and the ventilator was also going to be set back again to do all the work. All I could think of was how well he'd been looking the day before, and how happy I was. I left him the night before and this was what happened while I was gone. I almost felt responsible because I left him, even though I knew logically that that was silly. And I should have guessed something was definitely brewing, being a nurse myself, because of the constant fevers. I realized this was what the nurses meant when they said this would be a rollercoaster ride. 
During the course of Friday they sent him for another CAT scan of the head and chest and a chest x-ray, which confirmed a pretty serious pneumonia in the left lung. The cerebral pressure monitor was put back into his head, which concerned me as well. A doctor came in from the neuro team and explained that what they needed to do was place Danny back into a drug induced coma, so that his body and brain could rest. All the watching and waiting for five days, seeing him seeming to start coming out of it, and now knocked back down. I was angry, but I didn't know at whom. No one I guess...just angry. The doctor said there would be no more responding until they lifted the sedation, but that progress would hopefully begin again as it had before once they did. I was just sooo sad. 

cat scan head/chest 2day. Brain no worse. Cerebral pressure line back in. Scan shows bad pnemonia lower L lung. They put him in drug induced coma. He was workin 2 hard 2 breath on his own, antibiotics, vents doin all the work. Needs rest. Dr said progress should continue once coma reversed. We'll see no response like before. God bless all drs n nurses for their great care n my family n friends for prayers

Facebook on December 10, 2010 at 2:18pm

Dec. 8th...coming around??

I spent the afternoon on Tuesday with Danny. Nothing changing. Nothing getting worse either though. I stayed over Tuesday night in his room, in a chair next to his bed, with my hands around his hand and my head on his arm. It felt so good to at least be close all night, and I could almost pretend everything was fine and we were alone at home in bed. Of course the lights were on, but at least more dim, and that rhythmic awful ventilator sound with its constant alarming...it wasn't conducive to sleep, but I was too afraid anyway that something would either go horribly wrong while I slept, OR that he would wake and stir, or move, or open his eyes, and I didn't want to miss that either...so I dozed on and off, looking at him often, staring intently to try to see a flicker of life, watching the hours drift past us, and praying and trying to send strength and energy into him.

In the morning I went to the cafeteria and forced myself to eat. When I walked back into Danny's room, his head was turned to the right a bit!! I was sooo excited! His hands were unclenched as well! The nurse came in and did her neuro-check, yelling his name and saying "Open your eyes!" Nothing. No response to pain either. But he moved and that was all I needed for just one day! I had to get to Barb's to shower and spend some time with Nick. I came back later around supper time to find the cerebral pressure gauge removed! And the nurses told me he was moving his arms and legs just a little bit! And they said he opened his eyes on command. He wouldn't do it while I was there, or even when the nurses told ME to yell his name. But he received pain medicine, and so was most likely sedated again. He did squeeze my hand a whole bunch of times while I was talking to him though! I was so happy!

was at the hospital all night n slept alittle. This AM it looks as though Danny MAY b moving more...his hands are relaxed n not in the normal clenched position of coma anymore n they were resting over his groin area. His head was also turned way to the side and he is coughing more on his own. EEG results n removal of cerebral pressure guage from his skull today, trach and G-tube insertion tomorrow.
Facebook on December 8, 2010 at 9:29am


Before i got back here today danny was moving all extremities and opened his eyes on command!! They think hes coming out of it! God bless all of you who have been praying. Please dont stop! 

Facebook on December 8, 2010 at 4:34pm

left the hospital at 9pm...promised Nick id sleep with him here at Barbs tonight. Will be back at hospital in morning. Im feeling happy n hopeful, I know Danny will eventually be back home with us...

Facebook on December 9, 2010 at 12:10am

Lorrie L Leickel- Koch Glad things are looking up! did he open his eyes for you today?

December 9, 2010 at 12:17am

Kathleen Quinn-Farber just for the nurse cuz they had stopped his pain med for a bit, but they gave him some before i got there. he was squeezing the hell outta my hands tho when i talked and joked with him

December 9, 2010 at 12:19am