Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Typical Days of Aggravation in July

One of my days...Grrrrrr Mood
Saturday, July 23, 2011 | A Frustrating story
Today was one of the most frustrating days yet!! Last night Danny was anxious to go to therapy today. We got to bed early, altho sleeping was difficult cuz we only have fans in our bedroom and it didnt touch this heat. 
We got up, we ate, he took his meds, but then he started his hemming n hawing abt going to therapy. "I dont need it. There's nothin wrong with me" etc. Nothing I can say or do changes him when he gets like that. I'm getting tired of missing appts and I feel like the rehab must think its a reflection on me. To be honest, I dont have it in me to keep trying to talk him into it. I DID tell him tho that he hadda call them HIMSELF and tell them. 
We had already missed speech therapy. Its an hour n 5min away. Well, he called, and she talked him into at least coming to see the neuropsychologist. Well thats wonderful, except he was still in his PJs and unbathed, and we would have to leave in 20 min to get there in time. I have a TERRIBLE time getting him motivated to get a bath and he hadnt gotten one night before. And because of the TBI I guess, it doesnt seem to bother him at all not bathing. This is sooo NOT Danny. He was always SCRUPULOUS with bathing and grooming, in fact overboard with it cuz of his OCD. Well he goes up to get ready and I'm telling him over and over..."You have 20 min and we HAVE to leave!" I go up in a few minutes and he's sitting there smoking a ciggy. He says "I am, I am" when I say "GET READY!!!" He's going on abt how he can't believe he's been being such a "scumbag" etc 
Well he's taking his good old time, washing at the sink as slow as can be, picking just the right clothes etc. Then he's washing his hair over the tub etc etc. I'm VERY irritated by now. Dont feel like driving an hour in 100 degree heat to catch the last 25 min of his appt. I'm getting very annoyed, yelling even. Nothing moves him faster. Once he was ready he STILL wasnt coming outta the house even tho I'm out front blowing the horn. Finally we left.

The appt went ok. Dr suggested he try to get involved in some activity thats volunteer or something. OK...

When we get out to the sweltering car I remind him I have to be back in town by 5pm to pay my car ins. or it will cancel at midnight. What does he do? WORKS ON THE CAR STEREO for OVER an HOUR!! I am HOT! Sweat is pouring off me, my mascara is burning in my eyes, I am yelling "Come on!" To no avail. With his OCD, its always "Ok im almost done" "just another moment" etc. He's got his head in the trunk with the subwoofers, splicing wires, connecting them, doing god only knows what. As the time came and went to make it to town in time I am beside myself, crying and eventually soooo angry I punched the shit outta my steering wheel (my knuckles are bruised) Driving home I'm angry as hell, and he HAS NO IDEA WHY!!!

When we get into town, he wants to stop at an old friend's house that he's been saying has his old weightbench (from back pre-army days...like 2000). He goes in, and again, I'm in the car, sweating my ass off, dying, gettin mad. I had to go n after him in a half hour and made a fool of myself bitching. Now the ppl prolly think I'm just a bitch all the time.

We finally get home, and pass a kid on a motorbike, and he's yelling for me to stop so he can ask the kid if he wants to sell the bike (with WHAT MONEY is he buying anything???) I refuse and keep driving. I am a bundle of nerves, hot, exhausted and ready to hit up the state store!!

On top of that, I figured at least if I put the ins. money in the bank machine I can pay it online before midnight. Well, isnt the damn machine being serviced!!! Gota try later.

NOW he decided to walk up the block to one of Nick's friend's dad's house to ask if he has any projects he can do. He's NEVER walked anywhere from the house yet. Guess I gotta walk up and check on hm soon. Who knows if he can find his way home.
Its too hot for this aggravation.!!!


  1. aef55
    Oh Blue sorry for the hard crappy frustating day!!!!! You need a nice dip in a pool somewhere.....
  2. blueguitargirl
    you know, there were bright spots that I neglected to be ABLE to see in my anger yesterday (the heat and the fact that I HAD to be back in town by 5 were what were frustrating me the most...I've become used to and actually "ok" with how Danny gets involved in projects) It IS good that he at least gets interested in projects. Some of our partners arent able to do that. I wish I had lots of harmless things he could work on that he's interested in and wouldnt cause damage if he goes overboard with them. Another nice thing was that an older woman walking in the parking lot came over to Danny and was complimenting him on the work he was doing, and saying how great it was that he can work on stereos etc and that she "can barely even plug an appliance in" and that was the extent of her do-it-yourself ability. I could see the pride in Danny's face and it made me momentarily happy for him. It was just one of those bad days. The heat broke an 85yr record Friday where we were, and sitting around hot and frustrated cuz I was nervous abt getting home just got the best of me. At this point I also have to look at my OWN fault in the situation. I waited til the day the insurance was going to cancel(not my fault exactly...I was waiting on an unemployment check) but I had the money in my purse Thursday, and should have taken care of it sooner. Now, when I put the money in the bank machine, the whole amt was not available and so I had to pay 2/3 of it online. Hopefully Monday when its all available the car ins. company will reinstate after I call them and explain....so I need to practice not only patience, but work on my SEVERE procrastination problem (a problem of mine ALL MY LIFE)

    Wanting to walk to a friend's house also IS an accomplishment for him in the motivation area. It is bothering me NOW, because I am set to return to work this week, and have it in my "worry-bank" that instead of taking for granted that he always stays inside unless i'm with him, I'm worried he will go someplace and get lost while i'm at work. Thank heavens most of the shifts will be 11-7 nightshift. Snap and I were IMing last night and discussing that an ID bracelet with his name, "brain injury/confusion", our address and phone would be good to get for him. I know he wont wanna wear it all the time, but maybe he'll agree to just when I'm not here.

    WIRES Mood 

    Tuesday, July 26, 2011
    Today I had a 4hr orientation to care for a 2mo old sick baby. I work tomorrow all day...but then thats it cuz the family doesnt want nightshift nursing, which was what I was gonna do. So anyway, hadda walk almost 2 blocks in a heavy downpour to get to my car when I was done....I love rain, but had paperwork n stuff w/me so it wasnt a good time.
    Came in the door and Danny's of course involved in projects....lol. He's been trying for a couple weeks to get some old dead cell phone to charge and work...to no avail. Old chargers all over, spliced wires etc. My daughter was havin a fit cuz he had her phone and was tryin to use her SIM card. Oh brother. Then she went to make cookies but someone used all the butter...so Danny to the rescue, trying to scientifically calculate how much cooking oil would equal the butter called for. He's got a calculater, measuring cups all over. After an hour he gave up on that. I made soup and laid down on the sofa for a nap.
    Abt 2 hrs later all this LOUD RUMBLING gunfire woke me. Here Danny ripped all my speakers and subwoofer outta the kitchen, plus found 2 smaller subs, and wired them all up to the surround sound system, so Nick's game sounds like we are in a real war! He even has a speaker UNDER the sofa so the sofa is off balance but vibrates like "sense-surround" (Remember that from the 70's when the movie Earthquake came out?). A big tangled mess of wires was all over the floor! I almost started laughing. Nick's making a face and pointing at it all smiling. I said in his ear "Awww he did that for YOU" and he said "I know mom"
    Later, Nick n I were headed to the RED BOX to get a movie. Danny asks to go and runs out to get in with us...no shirt or shoes. When he gets in he realizes the subs in the car STILL arent working (What he was working on that day in the heat) And now they want something from Burger King too. In the car he's pulling out the stereo while i'm driving foolin with the wires, trying to use a lighter and my cell to see. At the RED BOX he says "pop the trunk" "Pop the hood" and he starts going over all the connections Nicks in the back n says (SIGH)"we are gonna be here all night" I just laugh...i did good!!! In a half hour or so he gave it up...after taking fuses out for my headlights etc to try to use them for the amplifier...
    We got to watch the movie....after he figured out what connections to reverse to get the DVD player to work. He fell asleep thankfully, cuz all he did was chatter thru the first part of the movie. Now Nick is playing his PS3 game again(more figuring out connections to reverse for ME). I wonder what he'll get into while i'm gone 8hrs tomorrow....but i'm proud of myself for being patient :-)
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