Wednesday, June 15, 2011

ANXIETY? Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome? Fears for myself....

Ever since the accident, I had been having occasional bouts of anxiety...i'm guessing it was normal given what we'd been through so far. In the beginning I visited the tree where Danny had crashed a few times, only because I was looking for his lost cell phone. It was hard as HELL to go there. Then for weeks...a few months actually...I wouldn't drive past the site, OR where he had gone over a wall and continued on a few minutes later to the crash site. When I DID finally start going by there, and still to this day, my eyes are drawn to the tree and the spot where the bark is sheered off the tree.

In the ensuing months I became obsessed with the safety of my family in cars, and even my young son and granddaughter...falling down, at playgrounds, on their bikes etc. I also would feel anxiety when seeing photos of people in ICU afer injuries.
 I started to experience panic attacks or anxiety attacks at the oddest moments, like once when we thought, through hearsay, that one of my son's friends had been injured in an accident, and recently when a friend's sister was killed in a motor vehicle accident.

One time that it was particularly bad, and quite shocking to me, was my reaction after a fun event I had taken my son to see. It was happening alot and really spooked me....

Update on Danny 6/2/11
by Kathleen Quinn-Farber on Thursday, June 2, 2011 at 11:09am
I knew first thing yesterday AM that it was gonna be one of those days. Coming home from work at 715AM I drive up our street and see my 19yr old son's car ahead of me stopped in the street, and an SUV right in front of him sideways. My son was also coming home from nightshift. I panicked and knew he had had an accident. (These days im seeming to have more and more anxiety and fear when I see or hear of auto accidents...OR when I see pix of ppl in ICU looking like Danny did...AND I get consumed w/fear and paranoia abt Nick playing outdoors without me and out w/his friends) and seeing it being my son made it feel awful. Well it was a fender bender and everyone was ok.
A few days later I took Nick downtown to see BIGFOOT crush cars. I was fine until right before we left and I was taking pix of Nick n my granddaughter real close to it, and suddenly when I was seeing the crushed cars I got really sick, started shaking and almost started crying. I quick told my daughter it bothered me n I hadda go. I felt so stupid! Whats wrong w/me???