So...when we were at the neuropsychologist Friday, we were thrown a curveball. Dr. D thinks Danny should go/would benefit from some time away in a residential treatment facility for brain injury. He didn't say for how long, but mentioned the phrase "several weeks" a couple times. Danny is "stuck" in his brain injury recovery...he has a severe denial that there is anything wrong with his memory at all, even when its proven each and every day by how he cant remember the simplest things. He wants to get to the point where he can either work or go to school, but wont get it thru his head that he needs to improve his memory and all the other stuff that goes with it. He refuses to do what the therapists tell him to, like write things down, use the calendar, use the other compensatory skills they are trying to teach him. Half the time he wont even get outta bed and get ready to GO to therapy. So I guess the dr's thinking is that by going into this place for awhile, he would have intensive everyday therapy done with him, and be helped to learn some skills to be more independent. Right now he depends on me to tell him to do every little thing...EVERYTHING. He of course denies this. The dr said "ok Danny. If Kathy were to say, 'I'm not reminding you anymore', and had you track your appts on a calender yourself, set your own alarm, get up and get showered and ready on your own, and then tell her you were ready cuz its time to go...would you be able to do that?" Of course Danny said "yea" OK...he doesnt do anything unless I remind, coax, threaten, nag, sometimes yell. Another plus would be that there is a neuropsychiatrist there, and maybe this mess that his meds are in could be straightened out.
The Pennsylvania Head Injury Program would fund the stay if he'd be accepted. Dr D is looking into it and highly recommends he do this. I dont think Danny really understands what it entails. I dont even wanna talk abt it with him yet cuz I think he will just say I'm "putting him away" or worse, he will think I want to carry on with someone else while he's gone, cuz thats how suspicious he gets. He did say he thought it would be good when Dr D talked abt it, but i'm sure he's forgotten now. So I will allow time for it to be brought up by the dr some more. The process will take a fair amt of time to come to fruition anyway if it does happen. The program will receive a referral, has to send to the rehab for his records, come to the house to assess him, etc. By then maybe Danny will become comfortable with the idea.
So the place is in Philadelphia, and its called ReMed. I went on the website briefly to see (remed.com) but have to take some time to read in detail. Just playing it by ear for now....
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The neuro doc wants to get him in a residential treatment center. I think...I KNOW thats best. He needs intensified treatment. I dont want him to think i'm giving up on him, but really and truly, if he is giving up and wont try to get better, I have to go on without him. I have done everything in my power to get him thru all this. But I cant live in a state of limbo where he gives up and thinks this is as good as it gets and live with the daily drama. I am not gonna have my smaller child, as well as my 20yr old son, believe that I will keep doing this and put them thru it. I am so confused.
I told Danny last night that he is going to this residential place, and if they tell me he isnt trying or isnt getting better, then his family will have to take him and do whatever. Idk what else to do. I love him sooo much, and NO ONE cares abt him like I do...no one has tried to believe in him like me....no one has been more patient and perservering....I wanted him to get better. Before all this happened he was getting better on his bipolar meds etc. We were starting to set goals....a house of our own...a life....perhaps even a child despite my age. Now it all seems like a cruel joke. I have a hard time admitting that I cant do ANYTHING abt this....cant MAKE HIM SEE....
If it is a good facility and they are able to help him, just think how much nicer life would be for both of you as a result!