Sunday, January 16, 2011


You need to get some rest and take a day for Kathy. you need 2 listen 2 this wise old Lady.
Kathleen Quinn-Farber I know i know. I will rest more. Its just that i dont have lots of time to do all the stuff i want to and i want to be there with danny all i can. I know hes working hard to get better but i worry that he doesnt realize from day to day that all of us keep coming. My heart breaks when i think that he feels sad or alone.
January 15 at 8:34am

I went back to bed aunt judy! Lol. So its almost noon. Gonna get us dressed n our things together n head to the rehab. Nicks been askin if we can "go to dinner" so we'll stop in a diner on the way. Ha, i told nick we will be on the move 2day w/danny, walkin n what not.

3pm. We are at the Queen City Diner. Shouldnt be splurging but ordered steak and ham 4 nick. I let him sleep on the way to allentown and now he is whiney and crabby. Danny would say ignore the behavior. Well its pretty hard but im trying hunny.

Something that bothered me a lot during the time Danny was in the hospital, was that Nick was really put onto the back burner in a way. I had little time to spend with him with all my running back and forth to and from the hospital. I did make sure his homework was done and checked it. Shannon usually saw to it that he did the work right after school since I often didn't return home until 8pm, and I appreciated that. Ever since Danny started to work with him on things the previous year, Nick's school work, as well as social behavior improved drastically, and I didn't want to jeopardize that. I knew also though that Danny wouldn't like it if he thought Nick was being in a sense neglected. My friends on the support site, the rehab staff, as well as things I read, assured me that children are resilient and would weather this fine, but I also felt I needed to focus more on him. I tried best I could. He had been asking for us to "go out to eat", like in a real restaurant, so Saturday on the way to the rehab we did. He was overtired however, and quite crabby. He would be more tired by the end of our visit.
Danny was even more active than before, and we took turns pushing him back and forth through the unit. They had removed the seatbelt, and he would keep jumping up out of the chair and walking without warning every few minutes. He would go to the doors, which were locked, and push on them, and ask us to open them and let him out. He held my cell phone like a remote and aimed it at the key-in code pad, trying to open the doors. Sometimes he'd bang on the doors in anger. He begged me to take him to the car so we could leave. He became very emotional, crying at times, but also began to smile alot too. The staff was absolutely charmed by his smile, always commenting on it. We did laps for hours. He was always moving...riding, walking, standing. He was allowed to walk somewhat alone now as long as he was in view of a staff member. He opened closet doors and went into them and opened hampers to look inside. He touched the computers and things the nurses had on their station. He rooted through things in his room and was into everything. It was tiring...I could only imagine how tired he was making himSELF! He would not stay still, even for his feedings, which they were now dumping into the tube all at once. The nurses and I would run alongside him in the hall, one of us steadying the tube, the other trying to pour the formula in! He was constantly saying "I'm sorry mam" and "I don't mean to be this way". He would apologize profusely, sometimes crying. He wasn't allowed food of course, nor drink, and he asked a million times a day for a drink. It was heart breaking to keep telling him he couldn't have anything. Especially when he would say, "I'm so thirsty...just a little sip of water....PLEASE." He had a sense of humor too and could be so funny. We were walking in the cafeteria, and someone had left chocolate cake on a table. Before I could stop him he grabbed it, but instead of popping it into his mouth as I'd expected, he tossed it across the room at Nick!! When Deanne and I were walking in the hall behind him, he pulled down the back of his pants exposing his butt and said he was going to walk past the nurses desk that way. He took off walking fast and we had to run up behind him and fix his drawers! 
That night Harold had to distract him so we could get out the doors to leave. When we crossed the street below we looked up and Danny was waving from the cafeteria window. I could see he was crying and Harold patting his back...

R visit was great! No more seatbelt n allowed 2 walk w/someone watching from nearby. He was real emotional 2day, crying a tad but also spontaneously smiling. Nick n he had a nice time. He's still up,down,walking,sitting,standing non-stop. We gave his bolus feed striding the hall side by side lol! He said he loved us be4 we left n waved from the window when we were outside. 2mrrw gettin there early 2 spend the day :-)
Facebook on January 15 at 8:41pm 

Denise Marie Startzel He looked so good in the pics!
January 15 at 8:43pm · 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber oh he just looks wonderful. He wasnt smiling really at all til today. All the staff were like, "Just LOOK at that smile!!"
January 15 at 8:48pm ·

Judy Mitchell Kathy, Danny's recovery is truly amazing! I said it before ans I will say it again: it was the love and faith of others, but especially YOUR love and faith that brought him this far. Awesome. :-)
January 15 at 9:21pm 

Stacy Derr- Walker ditto Judy! GS and his will to come home have taken him this far. Dont be surprised if he gets released a tad sooner then u may have expected :)
January 15 at 9:32pm ·

Kathleen Quinn-Farber
Good Shepherd is an absolutely amazing place. Every single special person on the staff is so kind and caring and very patient. In 2 1/2wks there he has come so very far! Its like a new surprise and another miracle every time i'm there. He a strong will to come home too. It was breaking my heart tonight, cuz he is still quite confused and out of context, but he kept trying the locked unit doors, trying to break the code on the security keypad, and asking me to please take him to the car so we can leave. No matter how trying some of the issues are that he still has, its so wonderful to see him standing, walking, talking...omg its just too much sometimes!
January 15 at 9:42pm 

Stacy Derr- Walker
I totally get it. Its spine tingling for me to read! Its a true luv story :) How did you end up leaving w/o him trying to get out? It may be a dumb ? but does he talk in a way that you can make sense out of it or is it moreless trying to remind him of things to jar the memory. I know its still not long from the accident but he has come farther now then I ever thought at this time. And still has healing to do but this is simply amazing!
January 15 at 9:50pm 

Liz Leppig Waksmunski That is really good news. I am so happy for you both.
January 15 at 10:01pm 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber
haha...Harold, the male aide that he has quite a repore with, distracted him by telling him they could watch for us to cross the street below when we left from the dining room window. He did wave from the window too, and he was crying I know, cuz I could see Harold puttin his hand on Dannys back and patting it.
He says mostly things that make sense, but its different and hard to explain. Its like very random, out of no where things sometimes. But he is aware of what others around him are saying and things like that, and will often comment on it. He just cant keep still tho and is always saying he is sorry. He remembers some things but not others. Its very fascinating really. I just think now that God had some sort of plan for why this happened.
January 15 at 10:05pm 

Stacy Derr- Walker
Simply amazing! And thanks for sharing your story...its a book in the making :) Im telling are going to be in for a surprise when he is ready to leave before we alal expected. He wants to get home and has the drive he needs to ...make it happen....and sooner then we think...I think :) Can you stay all day if you like? And can he eat foods or not yet. Didnt know what was up with nurishments. Hang in there Kath...YOUR the wind beneath HIS wings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 15 at 10:58pm 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber Truly I hope he stays the 4 weeks. I want him to get the maximum he can get with all the therapies. He is getting tube feeds, but is drinking liquids and had applesauce, but they want to do a swallow study because he clears his throat when he swallows so they must make sure the swallow function is working right. He's working on continence issues too.
January 15 at 11:22pm ·

Kathleen Quinn-Farber
oh and yes, I stay all day. Its tiring, what with the constant movement things and all. Before he was walking he would flail in the bed(still does) and is in a netted type bed for safety, but days i was there I would sit right in bed with all day and keep him from climbing out. Its like wrestling a crocodile lol. But I love being there and its so hard to leave. And if he is going to start sobbing when i go that will make it harder. I hope thats just a passing phase.
January 15 at 11:26pm 

Stacy Derr- Walker Give yourself credit....u are always there and involved in his rehab. Thats whats keeping him moving forward. :)
January 15 at 11:28pm · 

Stacy Derr- Walker no passing phase...true luv :) the whole story is amazing. true luv conquers all.
January 15 at 11:30pm 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber I thought I was the only romantic left in the
January 15 at 11:31pm · 

Judy Peletsky I copied your pictures .Hope it's ok He looks so good can't wait for my foot to heal so I can walk on it ,So I can get down to visit .
January 16 at 9:29am 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber of course you can have the pix!! I hope your foot feels better soon!!
January 16 at 9:47am 

Sarah Hottenstein i'm really happy to hear how much he improves everyday. the lord is amazing and has worked a big miracle with your honey.
January 16 at 12:06pm 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber
Yes it is nothing short of a miracle for sure. But its not just my being there thats helped him. Its his whole family coming together for him. And its the faith and prayers of everyone too. We have got a busy load of work ahead of us. There... will be lots of trips weekly for therapies, dr appts and such, and getting him back on track with his counseling and meds. I cant wait til he is free to come home and i can say come on hunny lets go home, instead of trying to explain each time why he needs to stay while i leave.
January 17 at 12:37am 

John V. Peletsky Kathy, you are truly an amazing person and Danny is beyond lucky to have you, as we are all lucky to have you as part of our family.
January 17 at 5:28am 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber Aww. Thanx john. I feel the same way abt all of you :-)
January 17 at 6:08am 


On Saturday at Barb's I found a wonderful support group on the web. It's called I joined the brain injury support portion and asked about Danny's constant flailing in bed, and his need to keep walking and standing. I was too busy to get on the site REAL often, but over the past months it has saved my sanity, as a place to vent, share, and learn. I've met a few wonderful friends there. God Bless the Daily Strength Brain Injury Support Group!! 

Has anyone experienced the constant impulse to move???
My bf had his accident dec 4th. He has diffuse axonal injury. The docters said it was the worst kind to have and not to expect alot. He was in a coma 2 weeks. He is now in a rehab and is recovering quickly, walkingtalking, tho confused. He isnt eating foods yet. However, he has a need to move CONSTANTLY. It was awful at first and he had 2 ppl doing one to one supervision. He couldnt keep arms and legs from flailing. The involuntary movements when sitting in a chair have stopped. But he just keeps standing up and walking every 2 minutes. He cant help it at all. And as soon as he lies in bed, he rolls from side to side, gets on hands and knees, lies back down, then starts the process over again. It goes on til he finally falls asleep. Has anyone else seen this or had it? I'm worried abt it...
Posted on 01/15/11, 11:14 pm
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6 Replies
Reply #1 - 01/16/11  3:59am
" I didn't have the need to constanrly move. Maybe a good thing too as I couldn't due to the bones I broke but I too had to learn how to eat after a coma. It does sound like he is improving all the time, as I did hugely in the first few months after the accident. I know it must be awful for you but just be there for him. Things will calm down. He will keep improving as he is now. It is so early now. i AM 3 years after mine and I am so much better than I was before. I don't remember the intial few months but I have been told some stories. Just be there for him. Things will keep on improving "
Reply #2 - 01/16/11  10:25am
" not only is this not one of the bizillion things to potentially worry about, this is a cause to rejoice! his brain is working, big time. the electrical circuitry is firing like mad, fiercely fighting to re-organize itself. movement equals muscle tone, equals strength equals vitality and therefor, health! the one to one supervision is fantastic! sounds like you're in a good place, luckily. civility and our own expectations don't apply, right now. let him be wacky and free of it all, while he's healing. and if possible, change your point of view, and have a little fun with all this absurd strangeness that's pouring out. i was a big fan of saying, 'not all of it, is bad.' my heart near bubbled over with love and laughter many many many times. "
Reply #3 - 01/16/11  10:41am
" also, i tried to document as much of the phases my son went, through as possible. i have several fantastic recordings of him just raconteuring about the most imaginative and nutty things that i've ever heard in my life. it was fascinating and fabulous. the reason i bring this up, is, that there seems to be a period of disbelief with the Brain Injured, that any of this actually happened, because they don't remember a thing. the short term memory being very suspect. of course this is much further down the road but it's very very real and part of the emotional acceptance that must occur. good luck and rejoice, your guys is a fighter! "
Reply #4 - 01/16/11  11:52pm
" thanx so much "Bitemarks" I really needed to think of this in this way. You are so right. And yes I have been noting all the amazing phases thru this. It is just fascinating beyond belief. I know Danny will one day find it helpful and equally fascinating just because of the inquisitive natured person he is...thanx again!!! "
Reply #5 - 01/20/11  4:31pm
" He's lucky to be alive! It will get better, try to be patient. It feels like it takes forever. It's been almost 5 years for me. I was in a coma for 3 weeks. I'm just walking w/ a walker now after everything else, swallowing, talking, memory, etc. I haven't heard about his injury, so all I can say is brains recover amazingly, mine has so much! GOOD LUCK! "
Reply #6 - 01/23/11  10:18pm
" just wanted to let you guys know that Danny is now sleeping at night and the tossing and turning crazily has stopped. He still walks and walks ALL DAY LONG, but thats a good thing...except when we have to run beside him trying to put meds and food thru his feeding "