Friday, January 23, 2015

Resolve and Dissolve

It is January 2015.
I've contemplated over and over getting rid of this blog...
just deleting it. 
But I can't do it in good conscience.
The journey was real and with so many followers and daily views, (close to 30,000 have read this blog) I realize it is helping others make their way through a mysterious terrain.

The oddest thing about this story, is that it is so closely intertwined with my own story...of domestic abuse.
I traveled a road through life being abused, and it continued with Danny. I mistook attention and purpose for love. For the good times we had, there were twice the bad and sick times. He was and remains riddled with personality disorders and sociopathic traits.
They only intensified following TBI.
I fooled myself into thinking once again, that I could "change" someone...SAVE them if you will.
No one can do that.

In March 2015 it will be three years since we parted company. I had to obtain a protection order and have him removed and arrested after the violence he bestowed became worse and worse.
It wasn't that I was not warned. My grown children begged me to end the relationship way before I did. After the accident they too gave him another chance to reconcile himself. But he terrorized us, and even my pets.
It's sad. 
Interestingly, a part of me will be forever grateful to him.
I was pushed to such a point of surrender, humiliation and realization, that the culmination of events in my life brought an end to the woman I was.
I changed...from the inside out.
I found that I am a good person...worthwhile, dedicated and full of wonderful things.
I realized I don't need a man in my life to be important...I don't have to take care of people who should be taking care of themselves.
And I don't ever or will never again allow someone to abuse me.

Three years later I head back and forth to court over protection issues. In his still somewhat confused state of mind he continues to harass me. At times I feel it will never end.

I am in a healthy, happy relationship for the first time in my life.
I am muddling through these leftover loose ends and they will hopefully fade more and more as time goes on...

So I leave the blog for others to learn what to expect. Be advised not everyone recovers to a state of at least livability. Some remain vegetative and some recover physically but have such horribly damaged brains that constant care and supervision is needed. Some, who had predisposed mental difficulties only recover to have the worst of them magnified heavily.

I wish happiness, recovery and health to all who read...


  1. Dearest Friend a wonderful future is yours.

  2. Nooo.. Dont delete it.. I'm going through what you are going through.. I do read your blog time and time again but just dont have enough time to comment but I assure you that I have bookmarked your page a year and half back.. Your blog did help me and it might help others.. Trust me my friend.

  3. Kathleen dear friend, so sorry havent come to blogger much this past while. I am glad you are leaving this blog up. You are strong woman, and I am proud of you.

    One can only hope someone needs to read your story and see that an abuser isnt changed by injury, and one isnt to stay out of pity. I know it had been a long hard road for you to get to that point, and are so much better for that descion.Blessing sweetness Norma