Wednesday, December 15, 2010


I am so lost without you danny. But im sleeping, eating, and nick n i are following through with all the things you helped with n taught us. I jus never thought this could hurt so much. Please open ur eyes baby and start your journey back home to us.
Waiting for Drs rounds to finish then calling for an update. Will post here afterwards. Back to work today at 3pm then staying down barbs so i can spend a few hours with danny tomorrow. 
No real changes. Hasnt opened his eyes. Intercranial pressure staying down. Getting a catscan of tummy today-not sure why. Trying to stay positive but am increasingly worried. If he doesnt wake up he now has a feeding tube which can not be pulled. My heart is aching cuz danny would never want to be just sustained like he is. He is so against that. Im sorry for feeling negative. I just need to vent. 
Monday night of the 13th was my first night at home in my own bed in ten days. I tried many times to go upstairs into our bedroom, but I always stopped short at the door and couldn't go in. I know it sounds silly. I text Chris at work and told him about it. He text back "Well mom, you might as well just do it. You have to do it eventually". I did manage it later in the night, more toward morning. I slept a little bit, but not well. It was so hard to lie there in our bed and know Danny was an hour away, lying in that hospital bed fighting for his life.
Tuesday the 14th was the first day that I didn't see Danny at all. That was difficult as well, but at least I could keep in touch with the hospital and the nurses told me to feel free to call as often as I wanted to check on him. 
I returned to work on Wednesday. My client family was anxious to hear about Danny's progress.