TUES. NOV.15 7:00 am
Yesterday at quarter to 5pm I got the call from ReMed. I was napping so it was a voicemail.
Danny was not accepted into the inpatient brain injury program.
I dont know why, and wont until I speak with them later this morning.
All I know is that I am absolutely DEVASTATED! I had all my hopes pinned on this, all my eggs in one basket. I had so much confidence that this would be something in Danny's life to finally help him...that just MAYBE there was somehow a plan by God for having him acquire a brain injury. His doctors and I have spent the past almost 2 mo. convincing him with all our might that this is needed and can help him. He finally WANTS to go.
Idk if its cuz he talked abt wanting to "hurt" or beat up ppl (but I would think they should be somewhat accustomed to brain injured ppl talking irrationally) or if maybe they feel his psychiatric problems are too big. Maybe they think he needs psychiatric treatment before brain injury rehab will work for him. They are the experts...they know, not me.
The message also said that they only received the requested medical records from 1 of the 3 places they asked for them from. None from the acute trauma center and none from the outpatient rehab. That really pisses me off. It irks me that as a nurse I always prioritize and do the quickest most efficient work I can knowing ppl's lives are being affected....but what the hell gives? I'm putting in a call to both later as well as Dr. D the neuropsychologist. GOD, there's GOTTA be something someone can do.
I didnt sleep at all last night...cried a bit, just kept wracking my brain, wrestling my fears, contemplating my next move. Wondering if its something I did or said to ruin it. Maybe they don't like their facility mentioned in my blog....I dont know :-(
Danny finally WANTS to go, and I gave him the news and he still keeps saying "WHEN I go this" and "WHEN I go that". Its thrown him for a tad of a mental loop I think. He was going on abt that they HAVE to take him cuz he has a brain injury and thats what they are there for...to help him. He said he WANTS them to help him. I explained that "no" they dont have to take him. They use much criteria to make the decision and apparently something just isnt what they want. But he doesnt understand reason...his injury puts his mind on a single-lane one-way track. At one point last night in aggravation I even raised my voice and blamed his dumb talk during the interview for ruining his chance of acceptance. I know he's blameless in reality...he cant help the way he comes across...
I am really scared, cuz we cant go on this way. I dont know what to do or who to call. I want to "FIX" this...the exact words Danny said to me this AM..."Kathy you've got to "fix" this, and make it so I can go on living and get help" It made me cry.
I will know more later and they will give me their recommendations I guess. And then I'll finish this blog...
I feel so down....
5PM
so I talked to Annawyn. My suspicions were mostly...well almost exactly correct. Because of Danny's "fighting" attitude, they consider him to be a possible danger to the other brain injury patients. This hurts me cuz I know he is no danger. Danny "mouths off" around those he is close to, but put in a position of therapy and help, I am absolutely certain he is no danger to anyone else. I know him better than anyone else on this earth. He does not want to be this way. He cries. It is not fake. It is not false.
Also, because the outpatient dept didnt send the records to ReMed, they just didnt have a clear idea of what is going on exactly. ReMed told me that as of right now, the answer is "no", but that doesnt mean the door is CLOSED. I talked to Dr. D. this evening and he plans to make sure the records get there STAT, and also to speak with the team at ReMed and give his view. Dr. D. knows how this could help Danny, and that it is definately worth a shot. I mean, if Danny would cause a problem, they could call me and I would be there in a heartbeat to get him. His life is going to be Shit without intervention at this point. I am just praying and hoping and wishing and relying on some higher power to help him seek, have, and make use of this gift. ReMed is a wonderful facility. I respect them immensely. I know if Danny were given the chance, it is worth a shot. This is a human life in the balance....
