Crisis

    Danny went home willingly that Monday morning. It took MUCH coaxing and reminding. In order to get him to leave with his mom that day I even told him that if he always behaved as well as he had, he could visit and stay again...not right away, but again. Once he was home the endless texts and voicemails began again.

    Wednesday I received texts from Danny's sister Kim that he had "snapped out" and grabbed her and hit her. She said the cops were coming to remove him. I called her in a while, my stomach churning, and she told me the police were telling her they could not take him to a mental health facility. I asked to speak to the officer and asked why he could not be involuntarily committed, and they said because he was calm in front of them. Kim text later and said the police were taking he and his mom to the hospital to try and get him in. She said she was "done" with him and that he could no longer live there. I can't say I blamed her...I knew what a handful he was, and she has two small kids in the house.
    I felt, and still feel this was brought on because his mom took it upon herself to bring him to my house. Now he had all that in his mind, and it was working on him. I don't know, to this day, what to think about it.
    It turned out by later in the day, that the hospital would not admit him, even after he took a swing at his mom in the hospital. He called his uncle in my town to come get him, and by evening he was in my town, and walked to my house and in the front door, smiling and saying "I'm home." GREAT...
    Back in January the police told me when they came, that because his address was here, they couldn't make him leave and neither could I. I sat Danny down that Wednesday night and tried to explain over and over, that he couldn't stay here, and we had to figure something out. He had it in his mind that because I'm his power of attorney, I somehow signed his whole life over to myself and was obligated until eternity to care for him. In reality the POA was so that I could make medical decisions and sign papers, since I was the only one involved with his care. That night in bed he talked crazily again, threatening suicide and other strange comments. Thursday morning I talked at length on the phone with mental health crisis. He had a psychiatrist appointment that day at 2pm, and they told me to bring him and they would get him admitted somewhere while we were there. All the way to the appointment he questioned me about what was going to happen. I was honest and told him I didn't know. He started to threaten me...
    Once there, we talked together and apart, with the psychiatrist and the nurse. She had me do something so awful for me...to just leave him there and then crisis would take him. He went into a room to sign papers and I left and headed for home. I cried all the way. My son happened to text me that he had run out of gas, and so I went a half-hour in the other direction to take gas to my son's car. When I was almost home the nurse called me and told me that crisis didn't take him, and he called a cab and was heading to my house. When I got here, there he was, in my house, with a cab out front waiting to get paid. I was so beside myself now. I called the police station....again they told me, as before, there was nothing I could do. Oh my God, what was I going to do. His moodiness and agitation was increasing steadily as well. I was so confused. My kids were in the forefront of my mind. My older son had had it with Danny's loss of control, and had no patience or tolerance left. He was tired of seeing the drama and wanted me to make a clean sweep for my own and the whole family's good. Still though, he was calm and waited until I was ready.
    We got through Friday...Danny spent the day on my brand new computer downloading all sorts of unneeded and unecessary things and all kinds of error messages were cropping up. Saturday this continued. He also was ordering out for food over and over and asking me to buy him expensive cigarettes and cigars. It was his money, yes, but as his soc. sec. payee it was my job to see he spent money wisely. It was just an impossible situation. At one point I kept asking him to leave and go to his uncle's and he refused. He wrestled my cell out of my hands when he thought I was calling the cops. I went down to the police station Sat. afternoon and asked them to at least come talk to him. I told them something was going to go wrong....but they couldn't...or wouldn't.
    Saturday evening it came to a head. Danny was trying to take over something I was trying to straighten out on the computer. He made a fist in front of my face, and when I asked him not to, he gave me a quick jab to the eye. It didn't hurt, but it was somehow all the further I needed or wanted to go with this. I hollered for my son, he called the police,they looked at my eye, which now had a big lump under it, and they took Danny out. My heart hurt so bad. I just couldn't believe things were like this now.
    Turns out they kept him in custody about 20 minutes and dropped him at his uncle's, but it was after midnight and he couldn't get in. For 2 1/2 hrs he texted and called. He seemed to have no realization about what was happening. At 3am he was tapping on the back door, and at 3:15 he busted the door down. This time the police took him to jail. Myself, my sons and my son's girlfriend had to go to the station and write statements. This was the end....

    Since that night, 13 days as of today (Mar. 24), he has been in jail. He has no where to go, so at least he is warm, has food and a bed to sleep in. I have had to go to court twice in this 13 days, to obtain a protection order. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to go this road. As much reality about Danny as I can see, I still love him....I don't know how to make that go away.


I will most likely write one more post after this...Danny's story is not....CAN not be mine anymore. The journey we have been on will always be there, for me anyway. It's been a tragic story...one I hope other families don't have to go through. It's been a different story than most....