Today was one of the most frustrating days yet!! Last night Danny was anxious to go to therapy today. We got to bed early, altho sleeping was difficult cuz we only have fans in our bedroom and it didnt touch this heat.
We got up, we ate, he took his meds, but then he started his hemming n hawing abt going to therapy. "I dont need it. There's nothin wrong with me" etc. Nothing I can say or do changes him when he gets like that. I'm getting tired of missing appts and I feel like the rehab must think its a reflection on me. To be honest, I dont have it in me to keep trying to talk him into it. I DID tell him tho that he hadda call them HIMSELF and tell them.
We had already missed speech therapy. Its an hour n 5min away. Well, he called, and she talked him into at least coming to see the neuropsychologist. Well thats wonderful, except he was still in his PJs and unbathed, and we would have to leave in 20 min to get there in time. I have a TERRIBLE time getting him motivated to get a bath and he hadnt gotten one night before. And because of the TBI I guess, it doesnt seem to bother him at all not bathing. This is sooo NOT Danny. He was always SCRUPULOUS with bathing and grooming, in fact overboard with it cuz of his OCD. Well he goes up to get ready and I'm telling him over and over..."You have 20 min and we HAVE to leave!" I go up in a few minutes and he's sitting there smoking a ciggy. He says "I am, I am" when I say "GET READY!!!" He's going on abt how he can't believe he's been being such a "scumbag" etc
Well he's taking his good old time, washing at the sink as slow as can be, picking just the right clothes etc. Then he's washing his hair over the tub etc etc. I'm VERY irritated by now. Dont feel like driving an hour in 100 degree heat to catch the last 25 min of his appt. I'm getting very annoyed, yelling even. Nothing moves him faster. Once he was ready he STILL wasnt coming outta the house even tho I'm out front blowing the horn. Finally we left.
The appt went ok. Dr suggested he try to get involved in some activity thats volunteer or something. OK...
When we get out to the sweltering car I remind him I have to be back in town by 5pm to pay my car ins. or it will cancel at midnight. What does he do? WORKS ON THE CAR STEREO for OVER an HOUR!! I am HOT! Sweat is pouring off me, my mascara is burning in my eyes, I am yelling "Come on!" To no avail. With his OCD, its always "Ok im almost done" "just another moment" etc. He's got his head in the trunk with the subwoofers, splicing wires, connecting them, doing god only knows what. As the time came and went to make it to town in time I am beside myself, crying and eventually soooo angry I punched the shit outta my steering wheel (my knuckles are bruised) Driving home I'm angry as hell, and he HAS NO IDEA WHY!!!
When we get into town, he wants to stop at an old friend's house that he's been saying has his old weightbench (from back pre-army days...like 2000). He goes in, and again, I'm in the car, sweating my ass off, dying, gettin mad. I had to go n after him in a half hour and made a fool of myself bitching. Now the ppl prolly think I'm just a bitch all the time.
We finally get home, and pass a kid on a motorbike, and he's yelling for me to stop so he can ask the kid if he wants to sell the bike (with WHAT MONEY is he buying anything???) I refuse and keep driving. I am a bundle of nerves, hot, exhausted and ready to hit up the state store!!
On top of that, I figured at least if I put the ins. money in the bank machine I can pay it online before midnight. Well, isnt the damn machine being serviced!!! Gota try later.
NOW he decided to walk up the block to one of Nick's friend's dad's house to ask if he has any projects he can do. He's NEVER walked anywhere from the house yet. Guess I gotta walk up and check on hm soon. Who knows if he can find his way home.
Its too hot for this aggravation.!!!
The appt went ok. Dr suggested he try to get involved in some activity thats volunteer or something. OK...
When we get out to the sweltering car I remind him I have to be back in town by 5pm to pay my car ins. or it will cancel at midnight. What does he do? WORKS ON THE CAR STEREO for OVER an HOUR!! I am HOT! Sweat is pouring off me, my mascara is burning in my eyes, I am yelling "Come on!" To no avail. With his OCD, its always "Ok im almost done" "just another moment" etc. He's got his head in the trunk with the subwoofers, splicing wires, connecting them, doing god only knows what. As the time came and went to make it to town in time I am beside myself, crying and eventually soooo angry I punched the shit outta my steering wheel (my knuckles are bruised) Driving home I'm angry as hell, and he HAS NO IDEA WHY!!!
When we get into town, he wants to stop at an old friend's house that he's been saying has his old weightbench (from back pre-army days...like 2000). He goes in, and again, I'm in the car, sweating my ass off, dying, gettin mad. I had to go n after him in a half hour and made a fool of myself bitching. Now the ppl prolly think I'm just a bitch all the time.
We finally get home, and pass a kid on a motorbike, and he's yelling for me to stop so he can ask the kid if he wants to sell the bike (with WHAT MONEY is he buying anything???) I refuse and keep driving. I am a bundle of nerves, hot, exhausted and ready to hit up the state store!!
On top of that, I figured at least if I put the ins. money in the bank machine I can pay it online before midnight. Well, isnt the damn machine being serviced!!! Gota try later.
NOW he decided to walk up the block to one of Nick's friend's dad's house to ask if he has any projects he can do. He's NEVER walked anywhere from the house yet. Guess I gotta walk up and check on hm soon. Who knows if he can find his way home.
Its too hot for this aggravation.!!!
Wanting to walk to a friend's house also IS an accomplishment for him in the motivation area. It is bothering me NOW, because I am set to return to work this week, and have it in my "worry-bank" that instead of taking for granted that he always stays inside unless i'm with him, I'm worried he will go someplace and get lost while i'm at work. Thank heavens most of the shifts will be 11-7 nightshift. Snap and I were IMing last night and discussing that an ID bracelet with his name, "brain injury/confusion", our address and phone would be good to get for him. I know he wont wanna wear it all the time, but maybe he'll agree to just when I'm not here.
WIRES