GIFT OF GAB!!!

Bought a small cd player for dannys room so he can listen to music, and a large calendar that can help orient him to day, month, season etc. Cant wait to see him again!

Facebook on January 2 at 8:09pm

Tryin 2 catch up missed schoolwork. Homework time isnt the same without you hunny. Your patience n devotion is sorely missed by nick and i.

Facebook on January 2 at 9:57pm

Been awake since 330am. Cant get back 2 sleep. Guess ill just lie here n talk 2 God...

Facebook on January 3 at 4:08am

Danny is talking. I mean up a storm! And he seems pretty with it! Im so excited! It was like a lightbulb turned on!

Facebook on January 3 at 8:37pm

Monday morning I missed PT but I was able to attend and help with occupational therapy. They tried doing several things with Danny. As he sat in the wheelchair in the gym they tried to get him to catch a big ball, but he wouldn't even put out his hands. He slumped and hung his head. They shouted his name and for him to look at them. Nope. The therapist said to me, "He always looks when you call him. Say his name and tell him to look at me." I did so, and he looked straight at me. I told him to look at Janna. This time he made an effort to put his hands out and she kinda tossed/handed him the ball, followed by praise. He was able to hold the ball and when she told him to toss it he let it roll out of his hands. Then she held different color rings up and asked him to pick the color she named. He wouldn't do that, nor even look at them, even when I told him too. She handed him a magazine with female models in it. Surely this I thought would get his attention. Nope. He was exhausted. He was put back to bed and fell asleep.

Later in the early evening Danny's mom and her friend Kevin came to visit. Kevin put his hand out and introduced himself to Danny (it was the first Danny had seen him awake) and Danny reached out and shook his hand. Then I updated Susie his mom on the latest info and went to the cafeteria to give them time to visit. As I was eating I was thinking about a conversation on the phone with Danny's cousin Deanne. She said that Harold told her as well that Danny was talking, and that he told her he and Danny were having "guy talk". She said she didn't want to say Harold was exaggerating, or worse, making it up, but she just found it too much too believe was true. I had told her Harold didn't strike me as someone who would make it up...but she was right...it WAS hard to believe. After all, Danny wasn't speaking to any of us and just watched us.
I went back up to the room and we all sat talking for an hour or so. I sat on the bed with Danny and helped him work the buttons on the remote for the TV. It was difficult for him to navigate his thumb to the button and press, so I pressed on top of his thumb. He sat watching a home improvement program intently, and Susie and Kevin said their goodbyes and left.
Danny was calm. A CNA came in to check his blood sugar, then went out to the doorway, which was about 15 or 20 feet away from the bed, and softly reported it to Danny's nurse. I heard Danny take a kinda deep breath and when I looked at him, he said to me, "My blood sugar is 92." I said "WHAT?" and he repeated it again!! I wish I could remember so much more. I remember hugging him and saying OMG You're talking, and him commenting "well of course" like it was just another day, another word,....I was beside myself. Well, for the next hour he talked on and on. His speech was perfectly clear and ungarbled, but very very soft. I had to ask him to repeat things over and over. He was confused. He said there were ashes all over him and he was going to burn. He asked about Nick and said he had to see him and that he missed him. He said he missed Chris and my granddaughter Sarah, and he asked about Chris' gf Tiffany. He asked questions about the accident. He didn't remember anything about it being a car wreck. I explained no one else was hurt and that he was in a rehab center because he banged up his head pretty bad. I told him he receives speech, physical and occupational therapy. Later he tried sitting up and I asked him where he was going, and he said "Occupational therapy"...lol.
Going home that night I made two wrong turns because I was excitedly talking to Deanne on my cell telling her all about the talking. Harold hadn't been exaggerating at all. Danny just was waiting til he was good and ready to talk...and that was just like Danny :-)

Omg! Its 1am n i cant fall asleep. I feel like a kid on christmas, so thrilled n excited. Danny has alot of memory, i saw alot of his personality shine thru n 4 the 1st time i can truly say i know hell be ok no matter how hard R trials. He said he misses nick n wants 2 C him n i have to get him 2 C him, mayb b4 the wknd sumhow. Im overwhelmed n gr8ful 4 all the prayers weve recieved!

Facebook on January 4, 2011 at 1:10 am

Two to one...and say WHAT????

Good Shep says its 1st time theyve EVER had 2 assign 2 cnas 2 one patient! Now tryin 2 crawl rite outta bed! Med changes 2 try n correct sleep cycle. This AM when large male cna holding him down long enuf 4 nurse 2 get feed in, danny said 2 him, wow man ur strong! HA the guy says. Dude ur pushin ME up off U! Lol

Facebook on January 1 at 7:45pm

When I got there Saturday, New Years Day, Harold was waiting for me excitedly. He told me about Danny's increasing movements as I entered the room. There was another aide at the bedside with him and Harold told her she could go help out on the floor because I was there. The girl looked at him with an unsure expression and he said, "It's ok. Kathy's good with him. We'll be fine" When she left he told me that this was the first time he ever knew of at Good Shepherd that a patient was assigned TWO aides to watch them...two to one supervision. He told me to just wait and see what Danny does now. It was only a few moments until I knew what Harold was talking about. Danny suddenly spun around quickly onto his stomach, got up on his elbows, then hands and knees, and tried crawling right up to the head of the bed before weakening and falling to his belly again. I was flabbergasted! He said, "Didn't I tell you he would do this?" He went on to tell me also, to my amazement, that that morning the nurse was trying to give Danny's feeding, and since he would not lie even remotely still, Harold had to hold Danny down with his hands on his shoulders. Well Danny mustered the strength to push upwards and sit up even with Harold holding him down. When Danny weakened after a moment he said to Harold, "Wow man, you're strong!" My mouth dropped open. "WHAT?" I exclaimed. For sure I had heard him wrong. Danny didn't say a sentence like that. But Harold seemed genuine and I believed him. He said he answered Danny by saying, "I'M strong?? Dude you lifted me straight up in the air!!" Harold went on and on about Danny's strength for awhile. I already knew he was a very powerful guy. I'd seen him lift the back of my car up on the mountain when we got stuck, and loosen an exhaust with his bare hands when a mechanic with tools was having a hard time with it. But I could not get over the fact that Danny spoke the way Harold said he did!!

First night im sleeping in my own bed in 6 days. Spending some time talking to my daughter and making lists of things i gotta take care of. Things have been in such disarray this past month but now i will set on the path to get organized n ready 4 the coming months of changes.

Facebook on January 1 at 10:29pm

Sunday I arrived to find Danny in a veil bed, which was a netted cover on a large frame over the bed. It was fully enclosed and zippered from the outside. Danny was literally crawling to the head of the bed and trying to hang down to exit it by the time I left Saturday night, and he had nearly fallen out twice overnight. Now he was free to toss and turn and climb to his heart's content, but remain safe. He was sleeping now, and sleeping alot during the mornings and days, but awake carrying on all night. They adjusted some meds to help with it, but so far it wasn't working too well.

There is a mesh net over dannys bed now 4 his safety. The med changes so far arent getting him 2 sleep at nite n b awake in daytime. Praying he gets his sleep cycle rite soon so he can start getting optimum benefit from his therapies! So happy his cousins are getting down today to be with him.

Facebook on January 2 at 10:48am 

Mary Jo Donahue-fogarty wait a go! Keep up the good work. now comes the challenging days. Knock em dead in therapy!

January 2 at 11:12am 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber

Thanx mary jo! His fight to succeed is evident esp in physical therapy. To see him standing n stepping was so wonderful yet heartbreaking. Danny is a person whos greatest pride comes from his appearance and posture and how he carries himself. To see him this way makes me proud that he is determined, yet breaks my heart that he is this way n must now struggle jus to get any normal semblance of life back. I just know he will be ok tho. I appreciate ur prayers n support. 

January 2 at 11:32am 

Mary Jo Donahue-fogarty Nothing short of a miracle! You know where to reach me if i can help you out anytime, don't hesitate to call. "we get by with a little help from our friends"

January 2 at 11:38am 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber

Thanx so much. Right now my biggest thing just seems to be balance...of time, priorities, chores. I have been running myself ragged back n forth 2 the hosp. N have become a frequent flyer of drive thrus and such.

NEW YEAR...NEW BEGINNINGS...

 Wonderin if dannys in his PT or OT abt now. Hopin the boys n i can get down 2mrrw 2 assist n encourage his work. His therapists involve family as much as possible which gives him the ultimate chances of reaching his daily n weekly goals.

Facebook on December 31, 2010 at 9:58am

Coming from work tonight at 9, i was in tears n felt an overwhelming need to be with danny when 2011 comes in, so nick n i are heading down. I have to do it cuz we were supposed 2 spend it together n it feels wrong 4 that to change. Then 2 barbs after.

Facebook on December 31, 2010 at 10:09pm

Nick and I drove the hour down to the hospital. I called ahead to let them know we were coming for just a short while to bring in the new year with Danny. When we got there Danny was in a deep sleep. Nick was tired and irritable. The ball drop in Times Square was on the TV in his room. We stood at the bedside and I held his hand, and when the year turned from 2010 into 2011, happy couples were shown sharing their New Years kiss. My eyes were so full of tears I could barely see as I leaned over Danny and kissed his forehead. "Happy New Year hunny" I whispered. "I love you."

I will always remember tonight as a bittersweet start to a new year...an old year of endings, followed by a new beginning. Danny had the face of a sleeping angel tonite: peaceful and looking like nothings wrong on the outside, but inside he is being reborn and starting all over again, learning everything like an infant learns. Im so glad nick n i could hold his hand when this new year rang in. IlyD

Facebook on January 1 at 1:59am

FIRST STEPS

On Thursday morning I was back to rehab early. They decided to stop running continuous feeds an opted for bolus feeds to be given several times per day. This meant the head of the bed didn't need to be up at 45 degrees all the time but could be flat, safer and more comfortable for Danny. The side rails were padded now as well. Danny was tossing and turning even more, turning all the way around in a circle and rolling, getting up on his elbows and trying to bring his knees under him. A feed tube continually attached would have been impossible. I met Harold, a huge, strapping fellow who was Danny's aide that day. He would prove to be one of my best inspirations for hope. He had loads of experience in the medical field and with brain injury patients. He told me ahead of time what phases I might see, physically and mentally, and gave me encouragement. He and I had our hands full for sure. Without a male aide there I don't think I could have controlled Danny myself.

In PT Danny was stood up at the parallel bars over and over. His body slumped and he wouldn't hold his head up. Loudly they would repeat his name and tell him to hold up his head. He would for a few seconds, then it would go down. The periods of standing were only for a few moments. When they would try to back him out in the wheelchair from between the bars, he would grab and hold on to the right bar with his hand and stubbornly refuse to let go. 

In the afternoon session they took him to the bars again and stood him up. That was the goal for now...increased toleration of standing. Suddenly though, his right foot moved forward and he took a step!! I was beside myself and the therapists were praising him. It was difficult for him to move the left foot, so the therapist pushed at his heel with her foot to help it along, and then he stepped again with the right foot. It was amazing to be able to witness his first steps. I felt such love and my heart just swelled with pride knowing he was pushing himself. He was near dozing much of the time and tired easily, but Danny had drive...and where it once was an extreme stubbornness driving his OCD, I suspected somehow that the same overwhelming stubbornness would perhaps be the power that could pull him through this as well.

Danny was rarin 2 go 2day, stood 8x, took sum STEPS w/help!!!!!!! No more continuous feed so head of bed can b flatter n more comfy 4 him-bolus feeds now. Will let trach close soon. Still wiry in bed n gettin on his belly n on elbows, n knees too almost! Thank God for 1 to 1 supervision he's getting. 

Facebook on December 30, 2010 at 5:24pm

awake since 4am with my mind racing. gotta pack up and get to tamaqua to work a 12 today. praying the new year brings good things for everyone. wont see Danny today n maybe not tomorrow, but i saw his fighting spirit yesterday n that gives me hope. I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!!

Facebook on December 31, 2010 at 6:22am

ARRIVAL AT GOOD SHEPHERD

Today danny goes 2 Good Shepherd! I spoke with his trauma dr who now says danny has a good chance of significant recovery, and is medically stable, breathing on his own etc. And the nurse liason at rehab says things look good n will help me through the process of obtaining equipement he will need for coming home.

12:30am...turning in now. Played some games with Nick and talked with Barb and had some fun and laughs. Up early tomorrow to stop at Walmart to pick up a few easy-fitting clothes for Danny to add to what his family got tonight, then off to the rehab to tour and meet his therapy team, and of course give him a big fat kiss cuz its been since Christmas that I saw him...

Facebook on December 29, 2010 at 12:34am 

WHEN DANNY WAS RESTLESS LAST NIGHT THE NURSE ASKED HIM IF HE HAD PAIN AND HE SAID NO!!!! granted it was a cross btwn a rasp and a whisper, but he spoke!

Facebook on December 29, 2010 at 2:08pm

All day @ rehab w/Danny. The ppl R fabulous! He got sum rest n he's still extremely wirey when awake. Trach is capped, O2 sats R high breathing thru his nose, and I helped w/ his physical therapy. He STOOD UP w/ coaxing n of course help!!  I couldve sat there all night n just looked at him. I learned info on help 4 when comes home, n turns out Bayada Nurses, my employer, is involved w/options 4 home help/care thru the state!

Facebook on December 29, 2010 at 10:06pm 

Danny went to Good Shepherd on Tuesday, 25 days after the accident. I couldn't get there until Wednesday, and I was awestruck from the first moment. I was welcomed, made comfortable, provided with literature in a notebook, phone number lists, introductions to staff, offered counseling with care management if needed, and told to help myself to coffee or snacks in the cafeteria on the brain injury unit any time I wanted. They stressed strongly how important it was for me as Danny's significant other, to participate in his therapies and rehabilitation. They welcomed me to be around day or night and support him as much as I could. I was more than happy. Danny had an aide in the room with him at all times. They were friendly and worked quietly at the bedside on their computer documentation while he slept, and they were on the ball keeping him safe when he was awake. There were no restraints used at Good Shepherd, so Danny was a free-wheeling flurry of activity. He continued the movements he had done in ICC, but stopped bringing his legs up into the air. Instead he rolled tirelessly from side to side, back and forth, and reached and grabbed side rails trying to pull himself up. When he rolled to the side he did so swiftly and with force. Whom ever's side he rolled toward, the aide's or mine, we had to brace against him for ten seconds or so until he relaxed from pushing...then on he went to the other side. It was ceaseless unless he was asleep. I was worn out and hurting by the end of the day. I got a break to go meet with the care manager Susan, and was filled in on lots of information. She asked all sorts of questions, about our family, but our home mostly and went over what handicap appliances or services might be needed at discharge time. She got paperwork established for state waiver programs that might pay for things medicaid may not.

Danny had physical therapy while I was there. I was so impressed. This little feather of a woman about my age, Tracy, came in, sat him right up and transferred him to the wheelchair, but not before telling him over and over to "STAND!"...and he did!! It was brief, but he did it.

In the wheelchair he had no ability what so ever to support his own trunk. There was a seat belt, but also a strap around his chest and under his arms. He kept scooting forward in the seat, even though it was a tilt-back chair...and they kept boosting him back. He moved his legs side to side without resting, putting them almost out over the armrests. He flailed his arms. He slumped forward against the chest strap. I could hear his heavy puffing coming through around the trach stoma. He didn't say anything or make noise. He just had a panicked expression, which alternated with a blank stare. After being wheeled into the gym, he was transferred onto a padded bench to attempt to sit upright. He was not able. His chest came to rest on his upper legs and his arms hung limply with his knuckles almost to the floor. They said "Danny, sit up! Sit up straight and tall" He suddenly would make a spastic movement upwards, uncontrolled in any way, much like a young baby who is learning to control his head and neck. And then down he went again. The session was short...all of fifteen minutes. Thats what they would be doing. Short sessions in order not to tire him or lose his attention.

This constant movement while in the chair and bed would continue for days...weeks really, but in a lessened degree and in different forms. His sleep cycle became reversed though after a day or so, which presented a problem to therapists trying to work with him and needed him alert as possible. Often I sat for hours while they could not wake him for therapies, so they stretched him in bed even if he was sleeping. Good Shepherd's staff was full of love and patience, but also determination. It was easy to go home feeling comfortable with the genuine love and care he was receiving.

up early for a change. Gonna look up some info on the computer and then get ready to spend the day at the rehab again. Its so exciting to see the work they do at Good Shepherd!!

Facebook on December 30, 2010 at 8:06am

YOU QUIRKY PIECE OF WORK!!

Oh how i wish i hadnt started this project! Danny you need to be here to tell me what all these spliced wires with totally too much tape wrapped around contraptions are. Omg! And all these gadgets. Babe you can manage to drive me nuts even from the hospital! God i love you for always making me smile lol!

Facebook on December 28, 2010 at 12:49am

OCD...for Danny it was and is a torturous disorder. Over the past 2 years I had lost count of the items in the house...electrical things, vacuum cleaner, electronics, car parts...that he started off well with fixing, but then could not stop perfecting, adjusting and redoing until the project was a shambles and needing to be thrown away. Thank heavens for my sense of humor and patience. Others in the house usually were angered by these antics, but I approached with the attitude of "how important is it?" LOL... I used to imagine all of it like it was a scene from a situation comedy, Everybody Loves Raymond being my favorite. One habit I had little patience with though, was that he was ALWAYS late. We had alot of appointments with his psych dr and therapist, and he never could get outta the bathroom. He'd be involved in a tedious oral hygiene regimen, or decide to detail his hair, even recut it at times...and picking out clothes, getting dressed and wrinkle-free took forever too. I'd be out in the car beeping, in and out of the house yelling for him. AARRGGGGHHH!!!!!  Getting him out of a store was a nightmare too...smelling all the scents of fabric softeners, shampoos or colognes...or reading labels. God I loved him to death, but I came close to killing him alot.

Cleaning my bedroom I came across several "gadgets" he had been working on, consisting of wires and plugs and I don't know what!! Things that a twirl or two of electrical  tape would have sufficed holding...wrapped over and over until they were three times their size. Seeing those things and holding them in my hands made me miss him terribly...even made me miss those ridiculous behaviors.

He was a quirky piece of work for sure...but MAN did I love him!!

UPS n DOWNS...WAXING n WANING

Concerned abt dannys decreased alertness/responsiveness past 2 days. Just talked 2 nurse n requested trauma dr reassess, which they did STAT. Dr called 2 say he is waxing n waning mentally, could depend on when hes given meds, n theres no way 2 know if he will ever come further than this. Trying 2 stay calm n positive.

Facebook on December 26, 2010 at 2:44pm 

Teresa Tree Prayers ♥

December 26, 2010 at 2:57pm · LikeUnlike

Joan Mermon Polk Think positive, will say a Prayer for him.

December 26, 2010 at 3:07pm ·

Barbara Christman If you need me let me know. You know my prayers are there for u and Danny. Stay positive.ILY

December 26, 2010 at 3:21pm 

Kathleen Quinn-Farber Barb when this snow clears tomorrow i think nick n i will be down. With wyatt getting surgery it looks like no work all week and of course no school. I wanna think of as many sense stimulating things i can do for him like that researcher mentioned. Music, tastes, scents, sensations. I feel like he is stuck in some sort of deep well and ive got to pull him through. Ill do anything it takes.

December 26, 2010 at 3:34pm

The day after Christmas the neuro team evaluated him at my request. Yes, he had regressed a bit, but this was considered normal as one emerges from a coma. The doctor said he was "waxing and waning" and unfortunately there was no way to know if he was going to stop progressing at ANY of the phases he was going through and just stall there indefinitely or for good. The "wait n see" phrase again. He did start back up on some of his bi-polar, depression and anxiety meds from home, so hopefully this was just a side effect as he adjusted.

I also was up and down all the time, feeling very positive one moment, then scared as hell or depressed the next. I had started to try cleaning the house numerous times, but became overwhelmed and tired. I found myself crying often for no immediate reason. 

I had done some more extensive research again on coma and brain injury recovery, and resolved to try any and all things I could to stimulate his senses, and I began sneaking a dum-dum lollipop of a different flavor in for him to taste each time I visited. I also bought some scents that he enjoyed and held them under his nose, and placed very cold or very hot wet washcloths against his skin. He sucked eagerly on the pops when I put them in his mouth, and a few times stubbornly bit down on them to prevent me from taking them away. And when I put the scents to his nose he raised his eyebrows and looked at me with a half smile. It was one of the first times I could see in his eyes that he was "in there"!! He even took to winking at me sometimes :-)

With the encouraging news that Danny was evaluated for and would be accepted into Good Shepherd rehab, I got a positive energy flow and decided to tackle the bedroom I couldn't seem to get to. It was in the same disarray it had been left in the night of the accident, me looking at it almost as some sort of weird "shrine"...but Danny was getting better, and it was time to move forward on our journey again...

So tired still n woke with a massive headache. My housework is so behind n my mind feels all hazy. I dont know where to start but gotta start somewhere. Wonder how dannys doing this morning.

Facebook on December 27, 2010 at 10:47am

Ha ha danny. What i wouldnt give 2 have u barging into my shower unannounced, telling me im overcooking the noodles, interrupting me with your opinion when im trying to talk, or to see you sitting at the kitchen table completely destroying a piece of electronic equipment in an effort to fix it to perfection. I miss u so much u crazy quirky piece of work! Please come back to us :-(

Facebook on December 27, 2010 at 2:42pm

Danny was evaluated today and will be moving to Good Sheperd rehab hospital tomorrow. Im making calls now to find out more info abt visiting, family participation, and the program itself. This is a positive step out of critical care, but also frightening as well. I feel anxious, happy, afraid. Another step along on this journey where we arent sure of a destination.

Facebook on December 27, 2010 at 8:25pm

This is awful but its been 24 days since the accident n dannys clothes he changed from r still on the floor where he dropped them, his toiletries where he left them a mess on his dresser. I havnt touched a thing but 2 wear his pjs. I havnt changed the sheets either. Its time 2 tidy up but its hard, like im waitin 4 him 2 walk in n say Ill help u hun n then we can cuddle the rest of the nite. :-(

Facebook on December 27, 2010 at 10:57pm