For the first month home, riding in the car was an ordeal to say the least! Danny would not stay seated, keep his belt on, would not stop talking, complaining, hollering, and GOD, trying to take the inside of the car apart. Thankfully my daughter's boyfriend Earl traveled with us those first few weeks. We put on the child safety locks and made him sit in the back. He would try to open the doors, and reach up front to grab the wheel. He took apart the back ashtrays, tried to disassemble the windows and handles. He would yell for us to stop and get him a drink with vodka in it, or a beer, and Earl would tell him there was vodka in the drink we brought along, which would quiet him awhile. He would yell "God DAMN it the bumps!" every single time we hit a tiny bump.
Then there was the getting out of the car. He would start by saying we had to stop and let him out. If I didnt do so immediately the asking would escalate to yelling. One time he was even hitting me over the head with a paper folder while I was driving, but there was no where to pull over!
He would get out and either just stand there, or start staggering all around pointlessly. I would run alongside him trying to convince him to go back to the car.
Some of the times he needed to stop to go to the bathroom. This was a time-consuming endeavor, for he could be in a public restroom anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes. What he was doing in there I can only imagine. There've been "accidents" he's attempted to conceal himself, and experiments with seeing how much paper toweling can go down a commode before it clogs and floods.
At the end of Feb. I started taking Danny by myself in the car to his dr visits and therapies. In the front seat he was finally over the "opening the door of a moving car phase" (except for twice) but there was much more to get into up front. My cd player hadnt worked for months, but each and every time, 3 times a week for over 3 months, he brought a stack of about 30 cds, and tried every one, complaining that it didnt work and then tossing it on the floor. It didnt matter how many times I explained the player didnt work, he continued the routine anyway. After the appointment, same routine.
After a week or two he added more activities to his maddening routine in the car, fussing with the radio and stereo, disassembling it completely from the dash, twisting wires together etc. He was forever on and off with the heat, up and down with the temperature, changing the direction of all the vents, adjusting the radio volume, the bass, treble, balance. Clicking and unclicking his seat belt. It went on and on, every moment of the trip, while still yelling every time we hit a bump and asking to stop at a bathroom.
Sometime in March car rides calmed down a tad and sometimes he would actually doze for a short while. He still played with all the controls in the car, but he was calmer. He soon started another habit in its place though, of having me pop the hood and trunk so he could "work on" his subwoofers and amplifier. They didnt work correctly, and eventually not at all, but we had to wait every trip while he worked on them....connecting and disconnecting wires, tightening bolts, switching connections...there were times it took an hour....and times when it was just too much to bare!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Confusion Galore and a Mind of his Own
As I said, February was the worst of all the confusion. Danny had a wobbly gait, talked clearly but in riddles.
He was entertaining some of the time too. He smiled and cracked jokes a lot at home. Many things made no sense at all and his confusion was very apparent. He wanted to try cooking and one night I had speghetti and sauce cooking on the stove, and he went out into the kitchen, took a sauce pan out, poured half a bottle each of 7-up and cooking oil into the pan, mixed it together and then made me try it over my speghetti. He said "You KNOW the kind of good cook I am." And he WAS a great cook. He used to cook dinner for me every night and have it ready when I got in from work. Anyway, I tried his concoction with a bit of sauce added along with it, and you know? It was actually good lol. Another night he came downstairs with his charger for his electric toothbrush in his hand, and when he saw my soup needed stirring, in he stuck the charger and started stirring!!
He also liked to concoct all sorts of weird things to drink. The worst one was in a big tumbler into which he put milk, soda, jello mix, pudding mix, hot sauce, olive juice, A-1 sauce, vinegar and I dont know what else. He stirred it up and actually drank a small amount of it before admitting his "nutritional drink" wasn't very good to the taste buds.
He was sooo thin...down to 146lb. at discharge. I was still cutting his foods into itty-bitty pieces and encouraging him to take a drink between bites, but he would get angry and demand regular bites and foods, so although I instinctively felt he would be ok with chewing and swallowing, I sat right with him every time he ate so that I could be sure. His appetite was poor though and I worried. I bought him carnation breakfast and high calorie drinks, but he was stubborn and wouldnt drink them. Eventually toward the end of the month his appetite improved, but he still wasn't gaining much weight at all.
I was still assisting Danny with getting dressed. He was able to put on sweatpants, but I needed to help due to the fact that he needed an adult brief for his occasional incontinence. And he needed help with shirts because his broken left shoulder blade remained stiff and painful. I continued putting his socks and shoes on for quite some time. He would try to do things himself but because of either pain and discomfort or impatience and frustration, he would quit and ask for my help. One evening he must have felt like trying on clothes though, and came downstairs with a pair of Nick's size 8 stretchy sport pants pulled halfway up his legs and he was insisting the pants belonged to him. It started out funny, but he ended up getting angry because the pants just would not stretch large enough to go up, and he began yelling at me to pull them up!
He came home ordered to continue wearing his neck brace, but let me tell you, as soon as we got in the door from rehab he was DONE with it. I spent three days putting it back on over and over and over and over. It was so tiring. I threatened to duct tape it and he got VERY angry, so I didn't push the issue. I made deals with him to leave it on for periods of time, and always wear it to bed and in the car...and he was compliant with that deal.
I was happy I was prepared for the incontinence issue, armed with plastic pads and liners for the bed at night. In the rehab they really and truly didnt have the staff and time to bowel and bladder train adequately, but I was determined to have his dignity returned as soon as possible after coming home. I asked him every 2 hrs if he needed to go, and I took him and he went usually. He still had accidents but they grew few, and by the 5th night home he was dry overnight. Late in February I dared to try letting him wear his normal boxer briefs when we went out to appointments. As the month wore on I had started weaning all his pain meds, and realized he obviously didnt need a stool softener anymore, so away that went too. I kept a urinal by the bed for times he had to go badly and it was too difficult for him to gather his senses and navigate to the bathroom.
By mid Feb. I began noticing a pattern...every 3rd day he was ZONKED and would be so very sleepy. It seemed his brain was shutting down at regular intervals for intense healing. On the wakeful days though, he could be a flurry of activity...talking, getting into things, being funny, being mean at times. I saw that after a day out he would become full of anxiety, and also when we had company. He would usually retreat to the bedroom shortly after company would arrive to see him. After some quiet time he would be ok again.
There were also intervals of crying and sadness. I felt so bad for him during all these "mood swings." He kept telling everyone he couldnt remember the last 10yrs of his life, but in actuality, when given clues, he could recall most things and that I saw as good.
Towards the end of the month he began getting more agitated. He demanded I go get him beer often. Of course I didnt do that, but the stress of him going on and on about it was overwhelming. He also started refusing his medication. Unless I told him there were "good pain pills" therein, he wouldnt take them.
He refused to get into the shower and gentle coaxing, bribing, threatening didnt work. We convinced him every now and again to finally do it. I know that the feel of the water hitting his skin caused heightened discomfort...still does...and thats some of the problem. Simple lack of motivation was the other problem. Still, day after day, I worked at getting done what I had to...meds, food, showers, dr visits. No matter what it was, it was a struggle. I was beginning to realize just how difficult this was going to be.
End of February I broke the news to Danny that his dad had passed in 2006. I felt it was time. He cried, but in essence I feel he already knew and was afraid to ask me. I quietly let him go through all the funeral things. We talked, and he was fine after while. Much to my dismay, this was a procedure we had to go through several times before he "remembered" his dad was no longer with us....
He was entertaining some of the time too. He smiled and cracked jokes a lot at home. Many things made no sense at all and his confusion was very apparent. He wanted to try cooking and one night I had speghetti and sauce cooking on the stove, and he went out into the kitchen, took a sauce pan out, poured half a bottle each of 7-up and cooking oil into the pan, mixed it together and then made me try it over my speghetti. He said "You KNOW the kind of good cook I am." And he WAS a great cook. He used to cook dinner for me every night and have it ready when I got in from work. Anyway, I tried his concoction with a bit of sauce added along with it, and you know? It was actually good lol. Another night he came downstairs with his charger for his electric toothbrush in his hand, and when he saw my soup needed stirring, in he stuck the charger and started stirring!!
He also liked to concoct all sorts of weird things to drink. The worst one was in a big tumbler into which he put milk, soda, jello mix, pudding mix, hot sauce, olive juice, A-1 sauce, vinegar and I dont know what else. He stirred it up and actually drank a small amount of it before admitting his "nutritional drink" wasn't very good to the taste buds.
He was sooo thin...down to 146lb. at discharge. I was still cutting his foods into itty-bitty pieces and encouraging him to take a drink between bites, but he would get angry and demand regular bites and foods, so although I instinctively felt he would be ok with chewing and swallowing, I sat right with him every time he ate so that I could be sure. His appetite was poor though and I worried. I bought him carnation breakfast and high calorie drinks, but he was stubborn and wouldnt drink them. Eventually toward the end of the month his appetite improved, but he still wasn't gaining much weight at all.
I was still assisting Danny with getting dressed. He was able to put on sweatpants, but I needed to help due to the fact that he needed an adult brief for his occasional incontinence. And he needed help with shirts because his broken left shoulder blade remained stiff and painful. I continued putting his socks and shoes on for quite some time. He would try to do things himself but because of either pain and discomfort or impatience and frustration, he would quit and ask for my help. One evening he must have felt like trying on clothes though, and came downstairs with a pair of Nick's size 8 stretchy sport pants pulled halfway up his legs and he was insisting the pants belonged to him. It started out funny, but he ended up getting angry because the pants just would not stretch large enough to go up, and he began yelling at me to pull them up!
He came home ordered to continue wearing his neck brace, but let me tell you, as soon as we got in the door from rehab he was DONE with it. I spent three days putting it back on over and over and over and over. It was so tiring. I threatened to duct tape it and he got VERY angry, so I didn't push the issue. I made deals with him to leave it on for periods of time, and always wear it to bed and in the car...and he was compliant with that deal.
I was happy I was prepared for the incontinence issue, armed with plastic pads and liners for the bed at night. In the rehab they really and truly didnt have the staff and time to bowel and bladder train adequately, but I was determined to have his dignity returned as soon as possible after coming home. I asked him every 2 hrs if he needed to go, and I took him and he went usually. He still had accidents but they grew few, and by the 5th night home he was dry overnight. Late in February I dared to try letting him wear his normal boxer briefs when we went out to appointments. As the month wore on I had started weaning all his pain meds, and realized he obviously didnt need a stool softener anymore, so away that went too. I kept a urinal by the bed for times he had to go badly and it was too difficult for him to gather his senses and navigate to the bathroom.
By mid Feb. I began noticing a pattern...every 3rd day he was ZONKED and would be so very sleepy. It seemed his brain was shutting down at regular intervals for intense healing. On the wakeful days though, he could be a flurry of activity...talking, getting into things, being funny, being mean at times. I saw that after a day out he would become full of anxiety, and also when we had company. He would usually retreat to the bedroom shortly after company would arrive to see him. After some quiet time he would be ok again.
There were also intervals of crying and sadness. I felt so bad for him during all these "mood swings." He kept telling everyone he couldnt remember the last 10yrs of his life, but in actuality, when given clues, he could recall most things and that I saw as good.
Towards the end of the month he began getting more agitated. He demanded I go get him beer often. Of course I didnt do that, but the stress of him going on and on about it was overwhelming. He also started refusing his medication. Unless I told him there were "good pain pills" therein, he wouldnt take them.
He refused to get into the shower and gentle coaxing, bribing, threatening didnt work. We convinced him every now and again to finally do it. I know that the feel of the water hitting his skin caused heightened discomfort...still does...and thats some of the problem. Simple lack of motivation was the other problem. Still, day after day, I worked at getting done what I had to...meds, food, showers, dr visits. No matter what it was, it was a struggle. I was beginning to realize just how difficult this was going to be.
End of February I broke the news to Danny that his dad had passed in 2006. I felt it was time. He cried, but in essence I feel he already knew and was afraid to ask me. I quietly let him go through all the funeral things. We talked, and he was fine after while. Much to my dismay, this was a procedure we had to go through several times before he "remembered" his dad was no longer with us....
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
HOMECOMING DAY
It is really late July when I am writing this. I am having trouble remembering(imagine), and my intent was to continue as I have been, telling the story in chronological order... and I still think that would be best... but I have so much to catch up on, and I've hit a writers' block. The day Danny came home from rehab was so full of activity, let alone the drive itself....
First of all... we had barely started out and Danny was already carrying on abt wearing his seat belt. He took it off... we told him to put it on... he put it on, he took it off... on and on. He also tried the door a bunch of times. Deanne told him over and over that she had child safety locks and the doors would not open until she opened them. That didn't deter Danny from trying anyway. We had drinks for him and a handheld game ready.... anything to keep him occupied and his mind off the hour trip. The drink distraction worked for a short time. He talked all the way... complaining abt being buckled in... abt the time it was taking... etc etc. Once out of the city and on the highway, he already wanted to get out "just to walk" or "stand up for a minute" At the first place we could safely do this, we did. A bank parking lot I think. His mom was in the front passenger seat and helped him get out. He was ok to just stand there a bit with her by his side, then get back in. Then it was the seat belt thing again. I remember laughing when his mom was telling him how unsafe it was for him to ride without his seat belt, all while she was hanging practically upside down between her front seat and his back one. He was full of comments and questions and endless chatter. Oh how I wish I could remember it all.
There were more stops along the way when he would become next thing to hysterical about getting out to "stand" Deanne would tell him if she was in a spot unsafe to pull over, and he would beg "please! Please!" Anxiety was mixed with light-heartedness...he flitted from nervous to comical. When I put my hand on his leg to comfort him, he told me he had a "big kielbasa" in his pants!
Along the way he started to say he had to use a restroom, and we stopped at a pizza shop. Deanne and I were going to stay in the minivan I think, but could see that Danny had taken off across the parking lot, his mom on his heels, and we could hear them loudly exchanging words. I think she was getting flustered. We got out. He wanted food. In we went, where he tried to decipher the menu. Amazingly, he had seen a sale sign in the window while walking past, for some sort of deal that included lasagna, salad and bread for 7.95 or something, and he mentioned it to me inside. I thought that was kinda amazing. I ordered his food, along with him... we kinda BOTH ordered... me helping him choose his words right. Then I showed him to the bathroom. Deanne had gotten pizza I think, and had it half eaten before he came out of the restroom. He was in there like an eternity!! I went in to help him a little. He was in there fussing about the hand sanitizer and papertowels and being silly...but just confused. Back out at the counter there was a statue of an Italian Pizza guy, and Danny asked him how the food was here...then he laughed and so did I. I still dont know if he was just being funny, or really thought the statue would answer him.
We took our food out to the van and got all settled in again. He was only getting puree food in the rehab, and altho I was pretty sure he was just fine to chew bigger food, I still sat, trying to balance the dishes on my lap, and cut up the lasagna with the plastic fork, into tiny pieces, which I fed him at first. He would barely chew and swallow and was asking for the next bite. I couldn't go fast enough. He was trying to grab the fork outta my hand and put huge bites of food into his mouth. I was thinking, "Just great...as soon as no nurses or drs are watching, he's just gonna do as he pleases" Same with the neck brace that he tore off all the time in the hospital. He loosened the velcro several times in the van and I put it right back where it should be, while his mom n I scolded him that he HAD to keep it on, especially while riding in a vehicle. He eventually got his way with the seat belt being off. We agreed to let that go so long as he stayed seated and since he was in the back seat. I had just a few bites of the food. He kept asking if I was hungry... told me to eat too. In all honesty I had no appetite. I just wanted to get home.
A long stretch of mountain roadway with no shoulder to speak of, was a nightmare. Danny was begging for another rest stop, but Deanne kept telling him it was unsafe to pull over anywhere there. I tried to keep distracting him with bites of food. Momentarily it worked... then the begging again. I dont remember how many stops we made for him all together, but it was several. As we got closer and closer to our town, then INTO our town, at each stoplight he was begging to either get out or else HURRY and get to the house. He told her to just go, even when she had a red light. Finally we pulled up in front of the house.
Inside he kind of just stood there looking around. No real signs of recognition. He acknowledged our dog, Angel, and family members one by one as he saw them...Nick, Shannon and Sarah. There was a lot of weepiness on his part. His mom kept saying "You're HOME Danny! You're HOME!" We pointed out all the welcome posters. He read some of them outloud. His sisters came shortly after we arrived, followed by Chris and his girlfriend. His sister Kim went up to our bedroom with him while he looked around the house. There was alot of noise and activity...talking...laughing...reciting the day's happenings to one another. Kim and Tara went to the store and later came back with puddings and soups for him, and burgers I think? I ran to pick up prescriptions at some point as well. Danny talked silly and was quite entertaining.
As day turned to evening I could sense agitation in him. The rehab staff warned me to keep this day, as well as a few days right after, quiet and with limited visitors. Not realistic. Of COURSE everyone wanted to be there. This was a day we didnt know for sure would ever happen...
When everyone was gone and the house was quiet, Danny sat down on the sofa and got calm in about a half hour's time. I was exhausted and he was too. I got everyone ready for bed and Danny willingly allowed me to change his damp briefs, and crawled into bed before I got there myself. I left most of the bags we brought, to be unpacked next day, and luckily I had the bed prepared with a plastic liner on his side.
We were back in our own bed together...finally. Although he was so very confused, his left arm went out like a reflex when I got into bed, just like it used to, to allow my head to lie upon his chest...and that arm went around my shoulder like it always did. We were home...
First of all... we had barely started out and Danny was already carrying on abt wearing his seat belt. He took it off... we told him to put it on... he put it on, he took it off... on and on. He also tried the door a bunch of times. Deanne told him over and over that she had child safety locks and the doors would not open until she opened them. That didn't deter Danny from trying anyway. We had drinks for him and a handheld game ready.... anything to keep him occupied and his mind off the hour trip. The drink distraction worked for a short time. He talked all the way... complaining abt being buckled in... abt the time it was taking... etc etc. Once out of the city and on the highway, he already wanted to get out "just to walk" or "stand up for a minute" At the first place we could safely do this, we did. A bank parking lot I think. His mom was in the front passenger seat and helped him get out. He was ok to just stand there a bit with her by his side, then get back in. Then it was the seat belt thing again. I remember laughing when his mom was telling him how unsafe it was for him to ride without his seat belt, all while she was hanging practically upside down between her front seat and his back one. He was full of comments and questions and endless chatter. Oh how I wish I could remember it all.
There were more stops along the way when he would become next thing to hysterical about getting out to "stand" Deanne would tell him if she was in a spot unsafe to pull over, and he would beg "please! Please!" Anxiety was mixed with light-heartedness...he flitted from nervous to comical. When I put my hand on his leg to comfort him, he told me he had a "big kielbasa" in his pants!
Along the way he started to say he had to use a restroom, and we stopped at a pizza shop. Deanne and I were going to stay in the minivan I think, but could see that Danny had taken off across the parking lot, his mom on his heels, and we could hear them loudly exchanging words. I think she was getting flustered. We got out. He wanted food. In we went, where he tried to decipher the menu. Amazingly, he had seen a sale sign in the window while walking past, for some sort of deal that included lasagna, salad and bread for 7.95 or something, and he mentioned it to me inside. I thought that was kinda amazing. I ordered his food, along with him... we kinda BOTH ordered... me helping him choose his words right. Then I showed him to the bathroom. Deanne had gotten pizza I think, and had it half eaten before he came out of the restroom. He was in there like an eternity!! I went in to help him a little. He was in there fussing about the hand sanitizer and papertowels and being silly...but just confused. Back out at the counter there was a statue of an Italian Pizza guy, and Danny asked him how the food was here...then he laughed and so did I. I still dont know if he was just being funny, or really thought the statue would answer him.
We took our food out to the van and got all settled in again. He was only getting puree food in the rehab, and altho I was pretty sure he was just fine to chew bigger food, I still sat, trying to balance the dishes on my lap, and cut up the lasagna with the plastic fork, into tiny pieces, which I fed him at first. He would barely chew and swallow and was asking for the next bite. I couldn't go fast enough. He was trying to grab the fork outta my hand and put huge bites of food into his mouth. I was thinking, "Just great...as soon as no nurses or drs are watching, he's just gonna do as he pleases" Same with the neck brace that he tore off all the time in the hospital. He loosened the velcro several times in the van and I put it right back where it should be, while his mom n I scolded him that he HAD to keep it on, especially while riding in a vehicle. He eventually got his way with the seat belt being off. We agreed to let that go so long as he stayed seated and since he was in the back seat. I had just a few bites of the food. He kept asking if I was hungry... told me to eat too. In all honesty I had no appetite. I just wanted to get home.
A long stretch of mountain roadway with no shoulder to speak of, was a nightmare. Danny was begging for another rest stop, but Deanne kept telling him it was unsafe to pull over anywhere there. I tried to keep distracting him with bites of food. Momentarily it worked... then the begging again. I dont remember how many stops we made for him all together, but it was several. As we got closer and closer to our town, then INTO our town, at each stoplight he was begging to either get out or else HURRY and get to the house. He told her to just go, even when she had a red light. Finally we pulled up in front of the house.
Inside he kind of just stood there looking around. No real signs of recognition. He acknowledged our dog, Angel, and family members one by one as he saw them...Nick, Shannon and Sarah. There was a lot of weepiness on his part. His mom kept saying "You're HOME Danny! You're HOME!" We pointed out all the welcome posters. He read some of them outloud. His sisters came shortly after we arrived, followed by Chris and his girlfriend. His sister Kim went up to our bedroom with him while he looked around the house. There was alot of noise and activity...talking...laughing...reciting the day's happenings to one another. Kim and Tara went to the store and later came back with puddings and soups for him, and burgers I think? I ran to pick up prescriptions at some point as well. Danny talked silly and was quite entertaining.
As day turned to evening I could sense agitation in him. The rehab staff warned me to keep this day, as well as a few days right after, quiet and with limited visitors. Not realistic. Of COURSE everyone wanted to be there. This was a day we didnt know for sure would ever happen...
When everyone was gone and the house was quiet, Danny sat down on the sofa and got calm in about a half hour's time. I was exhausted and he was too. I got everyone ready for bed and Danny willingly allowed me to change his damp briefs, and crawled into bed before I got there myself. I left most of the bags we brought, to be unpacked next day, and luckily I had the bed prepared with a plastic liner on his side.
We were back in our own bed together...finally. Although he was so very confused, his left arm went out like a reflex when I got into bed, just like it used to, to allow my head to lie upon his chest...and that arm went around my shoulder like it always did. We were home...
Nancy Erdman Latsha so glad he is home :)
February 4 at 9:32pm
Tina Crawford-Roof I am glad he is home with you I know you will take great care of him.I am so happy for you guys
February 4 at 9:34pm
Laraine Quinn Glad to hear he is doing well..good luck!! Things will only get better forall of you!!!
February 4 at 10:57pm
GETTING READY TO GO
Stacy Derr- Walker I cant even imagine this feeling. A truly amazing story :) You wont sleep a wink :)
February 3 at 11:33pm ·
Tina Crawford-Roof Kathy I am so happy for you both and Nick. You are blessed and I hope you guys have the greatest weekend together
February 4 at 5:57am
The night before Danny's return home, all the kids and I sat and made posters to put up for Danny. I made a big "Welcome HOME Danny" poster, and Nick made one that was kinda a collage of his great memories with Danny over the past 2 yrs. My daughter made one that said "welcome back sir"...in light of his always calling everyone sir and mam, and her daughter Sarah made her own creation as well. My son Chris and his girlfriend Tiffany made one that said "Happy to have you home Danny...we love you" It was all done up in glitter. I still have it hanging up 7mo after the accident. I will most likely leave it up. It is special to me, and I think a good reminder of what has transpired, for Danny...
Dan Siracusa Glad to see that Danny is getting stronger, and moving down that road of recovery. You also, are a strong person for standing by his side, threw-out this ordeal.
February 4 at 6:42am ·
Robin Kinsey Keppley It'll be the BEST day that uve spent in a long time!! Good luck w everything;) will be thinking of all of u;)
February 4 at 6:42am
Sherry Peletsky just talked to my mom for a few minutes. Cant wait to talk to you guys later on!!!!!
February 4 at 3:25pm
At the hospital we set about packing up the remainder of Danny's things into bags. Danny's mom and cousin Deanne were there...Deanne was driving us that day. We had no idea what to expect on the trip home. Danny seemed in good spirits. Several staff, from nursing and therapies, were in to see him. Harold was there that day, as was China, another aide, who used to push Danny to do for himself. She was an "I wont take no lazy excuses" type of woman.
CHINA, DANNY AND HAROLD
I will always remember Deanne and how funny she was that day, because she works in purchasing for a nursing facility, and she went around the room saying, "you pay for all this stuff, so take it home with you" She stuffed all the supplies, bottles, tubes, soaps, oral things, gloves, elbow protectors, etc into bags. I really didn't have an attitude of "take it all with me"...but it was funny....and she was right anyway...haha.
There was a lot of hugging and well-wishing as we left. Harold escorted us downstairs and to Deanne's minivan, and got us all settled in. Once Danny was inside and buckled in, I gave Harold the hugest big ole hug, and I lost it completely. There was so much I WANTED to say to him...so many feelings I wanted to express...but all I could do was sob and say "Thankyou so much"
I was so grateful. Danny walked out of the hospital by himself, just like I said he would...but was only hoping and praying he would. No matter what ever happened or will happen, I will be eternally grateful that a miracle took place when it came to his recovery. I wasn't aware at the time that such a long road still lie ahead of us...As Harold went back into the rehab, Danny told me that he wanted to say something to him still. Harold came back and hugged Danny....Danny said "Thankyou man...I really appreciate all you did" It was like a flash of lucidity...it was cool...surreal....and wonderful......and so off we went....
Thursday, February 3, 2011
PREPARATION FOR HOME
Kathleen Quinn-Farber Well john, guess they will need to accept what little we can pay each month. The itemized charges were utterly silly, but ill be eternally grateful to every emt, dr, nurse and specialist who pulled danny thru. Being a nurse myself, i know its not their fault that medical costs are outta control.
February 2 at 5:20am
Well, it was official...Danny would be going home on Friday Feb. 4th...exactly two months to the day since his accident. I received a bill from the trauma hospital of 475 thousand dollars. When I saw it I couldn't help it...I just laughed. It was so much money that it seemed surreal...There would be many many more bills to come as well.
Therapies were busy with Danny, making sure he could do the necessary things for his own ADLs (activities of daily living...dressing, grooming, toileting, getting around) Dressing was a tad difficult because his left shoulder was sore...and he was still incontinent a third of the time...but he was able to do what he had to in the bathroom with minimal assistance. Occupational therapy worked with him more than anything now...counting money, which he wasn't real good at, and looking at photos of potentially dangerous scenarios to see if he could recognize the hazard and/or solve it. He did about 50% well on most things. His confusion and distractibility were what hurt him.
It was awesome to see the changes in Danny. I remembered thinking about where I would put a hospital bed in my livingroom because I was afraid he'd be unable to climb the stairs well, and thinking about where I would put a bedside commode and how to make it private for him downstairs. In the last two weeks it was becomming evident these things wouldn't be needed. Danny's aunt gave me money for door alarms for the front and back door, because him wandering outside was a real fear of mine, and his cousin Sherry bought a shower bar which my daughter's boyfriend installed for us. I bought adult briefs for him, a urinal, and plastic liners to protect the bed at home.
Wednesday night I laid down with him at bedtime to help him get settled for the night, and fell asleep again. I awoke an hour later to find both of us absolutely soaking wet. LOL, Wendy was there that night, and gave me scrubs to wear home to Barb's.
I had many fears of the unknown, but was excited and anxious to get him home.
We had family training as well that week. Shannon and boyfriend Earl came, and Janna from occupational therapy took us all to the "apartment" model in the rehab to teach us all about safety, what to expect and how to help him. At home I cleaned really well, knowing I'd be pressed for time and busy with Danny once he got home.
Facebook on February 3 at 3:39pm
Denise Marie Startzel Praise God! Congratulations! Danny is a walking, breathing MIRACLE! I am so happy for you, Cathy! Now you'll know what tired it! BUT HAPPY!
February 3 at 3:52pm ·
Sherry Peletsky Cant wait to visit him some where other than a hospital setting! Get ready for that seafood party we talked about...I am sure it wont be long before he is ready for something other than pureed junk!!! I am getting out of work a little earlier than usual tomorrow afternoon so let me know if you need anything!
February 3 at 4:16pm
Stacy Derr- Walker This whole journey was truly amazing and your love n dedication is a true tribute to Dannys will to pull thru this! So happy for you all!
February 3 at 11:12pm
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